Kids Gone = Lonely Weekend - Part 1

Ahhhh, coming home from being out of town and knowing that my wife would be out of town for the weekend at a conference, what could be better than an entire weekend to spend exclusively with my three whippersnappers (17, 20, and 23). Yes, it would be just like the old days, with dad giving up his entire weekend just to have fun with his three favorite kids!

Driving home, I could feel the excitement building in me, as I envisioned many hours of Yahtzee, Scrabble, perhaps some chess, a pizza or two or three, and, of course, the non-stop flow of popcorn!

Uh, well, instead of just planning a great weekend in my mind, perhaps I should have let my kids in on the plan. As it turns out, based upon a variety of unusual factors that came together all in one weekend, it turned out to be a somewhat different weekend than I had planned!

When I was about 30 minutes from home, I pulled over and texted all three kids with the message, “Anybody up for dinner?” My middle child wrote back to say, “I am the only one home – what did you have in mind?” OUCH! How could this be? Why weren’t the other two at home waiting for me like they did when they were 3, 6, and 9?

I called my son to discuss going out to dinner, just dad and his three kids. He loved the idea, but we would have to wait for the other two to get home – one of whom was still rehearsing for his school play and the other of whom was teaching dance.

About 45 minutes after I got home, my youngest son walked in the door and seemed excited to see me! I told him of our plans to go out to dinner and he told me the following, “Well, tomorrow is the big dance at school and *** and I are supposed to get together to make matching t-shirts? Fine, I thought, but at what time? He told me that he had to leave in about an hour.

DARN! If my daughter could get home soon, we could duck out for a quick dinner before my son had to get to his textile making project. Before long, my favorite daughter walked in. I told her of her of my great, terrific, and wonderful dinner plans to which she said, “Well, *** is home from the Coast Guard for the weekend and I had planned to spend some time with him.” DOUBLE OUCH! She told me that she had to leave soon.

Well, alrighty then, this was not working as planned! Going out to dinner was quickly canceled and we agreed to get pizza before two folks had to disengage from the home environment!

Ah, yes, I couldn’t wait for the pizza to arrive, so that the four of us would have at least some time together, just like the old days when it seemed as though we had pizza every Friday night! The pizza arrived and ……. THERE WAS NO CHEESE ON THE PIZZA! ......... OUCH #3!!!!

Wow, Friday evening was just beginning and I was about to quickly lose two kids and now no cheese?!?!? What happened to the good ol’ days?

We ate the pizza anyway and then my youngest and oldest prepared to depart the household., Oh well, I thought, at least I’d still have my middle child with whom to have some fun …… or so I thought!


(Please come back next week for Part 2)


Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Activities - Let Them Try (5)

(Continued from March 5, 2011) ..... The overall point is not to boast about my daughter’s talents. The point is that we let our daughter TRY dance, as she had expressed a strong interest. Of course, she also expressed a strong interest in gymnastics, piano, softball, basketball, Girl Scouts, swimming, clarinet, and possibly 100’s of other activities – at least it seemed like it!

However, although we let her dabble in her chosen interests, we also made it clear that, as we had two other offspring and only two parents, she would have to make choices. Despite her desires, she would not be able to choose EVERYTHING as an option!

So, little by little, she whittled away activities from her list, until she was left with the world of dance and theater!

What if I had not taken my daughter to that dance recital when she was only three-hears-old? What if we had ignored her pleas to get involved in dance? What if we had just said no to her wishes? What if we had not encouraged her love of dance in the home?

If we had not done all of the above, it is clear that we would have destroyed her dream and, perhaps, her confidence with it. But, by saying yes, and keeping her other activities to a minimum, so that they did not dominate the family seven days per week, we were able to help her to learn, grow, develop, and excel in her chosen area.

So, although her name is not spoken in the same sentence as Beethoven and Ruth, she is on her way to a lifetime of fulfillment, helped along by the confidence and support that her parents gave to her!

So, let your kids try the activities in which they have an interest, within reasonable financial and time restraints and, who knows, maybe your child will grow up to be Ludwig Van Beethoven, George Herman “Babe” Ruth, …. or even a professional dancer with Broadway aspirations!!

Now, if she would only to remember to empty the cat litter between dance rehearsals …. ah well, a story for another day!

Yes, love your kids, spend time with them, help them in their pursuits, encourage them, and let them get out there and TRY IT – you’ll be glad that you did!

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Activities - Let Them Try (4)

(Continued from February 26, 2011) ...... They were in there for what seemed like forever. Finally, the door opened and the hopefuls started to pour out and walk past me. I kept looking for my daughter, but I could not find her in the single line of hopefuls. Where could she be? After about a minute of looking through the crowd of those who had just auditioned, the rehearsal door closed again.

Where was my daughter? She was still in the rehearsal room alone with about five instructors and directors for the upcoming show. Either she had been a very bad girl or she was about to win an audition!

She came out about 20 minutes later. She told me that they had said nothing, other than that they were impressed with her abilities. She told me that we could start our journey home.

I told her that it would be respectful of the process to notify the front desk that she was leaving. After she told them that she was leaving, they said, “Did they measure you, yet?” My daughter said no, so they told her to have a seat for a few minutes and they would take care of her.

My daughter asked me why they were measuring her. I told her that it sounded as though they wanted to measure her for costumes and it appeared as though she had won the job!

We were right on both counts. My daughter, the long-ago three-year-old with the eyes-glued-wide-open at her first dance recital, had just completed her first audition against about 500 total hopefuls, many of whom had auditioned on other days, and she won!

Yes, my daughter was about to begin rehearsal for a big-time show that would feature dancing, singing, and acting – her dream had come true!

Since that time, she has appeared in multiple shows, as her name is on the A-List for directors and producers to call! Yes, even though she is about to graduate from college with a degree in Education, she wants to fully pursue her dream of Broadway!

Wow, from an innocent Friday night at a dance recital many years ago to pursuing Broadway! Quite a gal, I must say!

So, am I about as proud as a dad can be of his favorite daughter (my only daughter!)? Absolutely! Are we glad that she is our kid? You betcha!

So, what is the overall point to letting your kids try various activities when they express an interest? Please come back next week for the conclusion!

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Activities - Let Them Try (3)

(Continued from February 19, 2011) ..... In early September, our 3-year-old daughter began dance class and, at the end of the first three-hour rehearsal, the teacher approached us and she told us that she had never seen a three-year-old who had been able to focus on the various dance steps for three entire hours.

After the third week of dance class, the lead teacher and her assistant approached us to tell us that our daughter appeared to be gifted in the area of dance as she had a natural ability to quickly pick up steps and master them before some of the older children were able to do so.

To say the least, our daughter was overjoyed that she was able to take dance classes, that she was being successful at dance, and that she would be able to wear many colorful costumes in the recital that was still almost 9 months away.

From the days of her first dance classes at three years old all the way through her first two years of college, our daughter continued to take dance classes. In addition, she had also become a dance teacher at the ripe old age of twelve!

Without question, at least in this dad’s mind, our daughter was made to dance!

So, what happened in the future from that first recital? Well, our daughter continued to take dance lessons, later augmented by singing and acting lessons, so that she would be able to further her dream of being on stage. She danced many solos (as well as with ensembles), she acted, she sang, and found multiple excuses to get on stage to perform!

She later entered many competitions, capturing first place in a 3-state competition and then finishing in the top ten in a national competition in New York City! Yes, our daughter had taken her love of dance from that first recital and was now a winner on the national stage!

During her second year of college, we encouraged her to audition for some big shows that would feature her dancing, singing, and acting. She was a tad reluctant at first, as she was not sure how she would match up against some of the top performers in the land.

Well, she finally made arrangements for an audition with a national show. She and I drove to the town the night before, got a good night’s sleep, and ventured to the audition where we waited …. and waited, .. and waited in a room with about 50 other hopefuls.

FINALLY – the director called her name along with the names of about 20 of the others. They headed off to a rehearsal room – I was not allowed to go down the hall! I had to wait alone!


Well, did she get the job? Please come back next week to find out!


Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Activities - Let Them Try (2)

(Continued from February 12, 2011) ..... So, on a warm Friday evening in early June, when my daughter was three years old, she and I ventured off to the dance recital hall to watch my students perform.

While I enjoyed watching my students perform and excel in yet another arena, I noticed that my daughter's eyes were wide open for the entire three-hour recital, as she seemed mesmerized by the colorful costumes, several different styles of dances, and the overall production.

On the way home that evening, I asked her if she would like to get involved with dates. I received one of the most enthusiastic affirmative answers that a three-year-old child could muster up. My daughter wanted to begin dance lessons immediately! She was instantly hooked and she wanted to be a star on the dance stage!

Keeping the Beethoven/Ruth analogy in mind, we contacted the dance instructor of the recital the next week and asked if our three-year-old daughter could take dance lessons. Unfortunately, she told us, three years old was simply too young to focus in dance class. The teacher told us to wait until our daughter was four years old before beginning dance lessons.

Upon breaking the news to a future hall-of-famer in the dance field, our daughter was devastated, as she wanted to begin dance lessons right away. We also knew that her ability to focus for long periods of time was already well-established. Paying attention in class would not be an issue for her.

We waited for about a month, and then we called the teacher again. This time, we talked to the teacher about our daughter's ability to focus for long periods of time and we asked the teacher if our three-year-old daughter could try dance lessons and, if the teacher believed that things did not work out, we would understand and we would withdraw our daughter from dance class and wait until she was four years old.

The dance teacher told us that she would think about it and that she would get back to us in August - still in plenty of time to begin dance classes in September.

To say the least our daughter was excited about the possibility that she might be able to start dance class. We continued to dance around the house multiple times each day, as she was still demonstrating her great desire to become a dancer right now!

Sure enough, in early August the dance teacher called us. She asked again about our three-year-old daughter's ability to focus. We assured her that our daughter would be able to focus in class, but, again, if things did not work out, we would withdraw her from dance class and resume when she was four years old. 

(Please come back next week to find out how the dance class went for my favorite 3-year-old daughter!).

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Activities - Let Them Try (1)

"Dad, can I play baseball? Can I join the scouts? Can I take swimming lessons? Can I join the YMCA? Can I take gymnastics? Can I take dance lessons? Can I? Can I?, Can I …………?"

Ah, yes, kids want to try EVERYTHING when they are young! Their likes and dislikes often change with the wind, the latest crazes, and their friends’ opinions. So, with only 1 or 2 parents, limited time, and limited funds, what is a parent to do when a child wants to try EVERYTHING?

Well, as you know, I have long been a proponent of allowing your kids to try the many activities in which they show interest throughout their childhood. Of course, time, finances, ability to get them to various locales, and other family issues need to be considered before finalizing plans.

Over the next five weeks, I will show you something that we did with our daughter to help her to fulfill her desire of trying different activities, while still limiting her choices until she had whittled them down to a manageable number. Also, by allowing her to try some activities (always within the established time and financial restraints of the family), she gained the needed confidence to be successful at her final chosen activity - a level of success that continues today!

So, yes, when kids get to try activities in which they have interest, you never quite know what is going to happen. After all, if Beethoven’s parents had not allowed him to try the piano, the world would have never heard any music from him. If Babe Ruth’s parents had not allowed him to try baseball, we would have never had the Great Bambino! However, by allowing their children to try piano and baseball, respectively, both kids grew up to provide tremendous output in their chosen professions.

Many years ago, when I was a teacher and my daughter was only three-years-old, several of my female students invited me to one of their dance recitals. While I was not necessarily looking forward to giving up a Friday evening for a dance recital, I did want to support my students. Plus, as an added bonus, I did take the opportunity to have my daughter go with me to watch the big girls dance.

I had consciously thought of having her try dance someday. She had a good sense of rhythm, she liked music, and I noticed that all of the girls who had taken dance lessons were also good students.

We had already spent the first three years of her life dancing around the house, sometimes trying to be serious but mostly trying to be silly. However she did seem to have a basic knack for dance and she certainly seemed to enjoy dancing with her dad!

So, how did the recital go and what effect did the performance have on my daughter's future life direction? Well, come back next Saturday to find out!

Paul W. Reeves

Birthday Tradition Continues (2)

(Continued from January 29, 2011) .... At any rate, my daughter recently celebrated her 23^rd birthday on a Thursday. As I was going to be out of town on that morning, I decided that we would perform her “Happy Birthday” song two days later on Saturday. I did not tell anybody of this plan, but I figured that it would work.

In lieu of being there to perform and continue the tradition, I recorded a special version of “Happy Birthday” in mp3 format for my daughter and I e-mailed it to her the night before, knowing that she would listen to it shortly after she awoke on her big morning.

However, our youngest son (17-years-old) had apparently decided on his own that this tradition of performing “Happy Birthday” on the morning of the birthday MUST continue – even in my physical absence. On the morning of our daughter’s birthday, he took it upon himself to enter his sister’s room with a boom box, cranked up the volume to max, and then played a CD recording of “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang!

Interestingly, I am told that my daughter immediately woke up laughing and thanking him (not the reaction that most of us would have had with such an abrupt wake-up call!), as she was thankful that the tradition had been kept alive!

Yes, the little whippsnapper just could not stand the thought of a long-standing tradition being stalled by two days, so he did the best thing that he could think of on the spur of the moment – blasting “Celebration” seemed just about right to him!

My wife called me right away to tell me of the news – that our kids had kept one of my (and our) birthday traditions alive for another year!! She was laughing as she told me and I soon joined in the laughter with her, both pleased as punch (“Pleased as punch?” – Hmmm, maybe I am becoming lame!) that our kids were keeping this tradition alive on their own.

Yes, the thought that our kids think highly enough of one of our family traditions to keep it alive on their own is certainly pleasing to both parents.

The thought that this just about cements the thought that they will do the same with their own kids someday is a feeling that is too good to describe!

So, how about you? Do you have any family traditions that bring joy to you and your family – traditions that you keep doing year after year out of joy? If so, please pass them along. Thank you!


Paul W. Reeves

Birthday Tradition Continues (1)

Have you ever started a family tradition that has carried on throughout the years? Some of ours have included:

Sharing Thanksgiving dinner together and then planning to put up our Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving.

Attending Christmas Eve service in the evening and then getting Chinese food to bring home (a tradition that started by accident when we first went to a late Christmas Eve service – only to find zero restaurants opened for business, until we came by a Chinese Restaurant near our home – we have done the same every year since).

And, of course, as I wrote last week, celebrating our kids’ birthdays twice –  once in the morning of the big day and once on the next weekend complete with cake and ice-cream!

But, have you ever started a family tradition that you later saw your children continue to carry out? If so, you know that this is one of the richest rewards that you can experience!

I have often told my kids that, as lame as they might find me to be as they get older, they will use some of my parenting skills and silly family traditions with their own families.

Little by little, there is evidence that I am correct! YES!! My kids are all too happy (at least in this case!) to admit that their dad just might be on to something.

Here are the details:

As I shared way back on April 25, 2009 (http://paulwreeves.blogspot.com/2009/04/happy-birthday-to-me.html), we have started each child’s birthday morning by getting all other family members to quietly enter the birthday person’s bedroom in the morning and then wake them up with a variety of musical “Happy Birthday” performances, complete, in various years, with guitars, drums, trumpets, trombones, clarinets, and, with great pride, some terribly off-key singing, mixed in with some in-tune singing for good measure! 

Yes, a truly awful, yet strangely pleasurable, way to be awakened on the big day!

All in all, since this tradition started when our youngest child was a year old, our kids have looked forward to this every year with the same anticipation with which one looks forward to Christmas! It’s a great family tradition; they love it; we keep doing it; and I just know that they will do the same when they have kids someday (hey, maybe they’ll invite grandpa over in the morning to help!).

So, what happened this year to keep the tradition alive while I was out of town? (Please come back next Saturday to find out!)

Paul W. Reeves

Let Us Eat Cake!

How was your birthday celebrated when you were a child? Was it a big deal in the home, an important day to be celebrated when more time would be available, or was it just another day?

When I was a young whippersnapper, my parents made birthdays an important part of our family’s culture. Each year on my birthday morning, my parents would awaken me together and wish me a happy birthday. It was a great way to wake up, with both parents letting me know that they were glad that I was their child!

In some years, my parents gave my birthday present to me in the morning and other years they waited until the evening.

My friends also had parents who thought that a child’s birthday was a pretty big deal, so all of us in our neighborhood grew up believing that birthdays were important!

Fast-forwarding several years, before we had any children, my wife and I encountered a distant relative who gleefully announced that she celebrated each person’s birthday together on the same day! “One cake, one day, and it’s over until next year” was the accepted mantra in that family! Each year on the 4^th of July, her family celebrated birthdays that had been observed in February, May, and June, thereby, in my view, negating the special feeling for each child on his/her special day.

My wife told me that she believed that celebrating birthdays on the closest weekend day was her thought of celebrating our future kids’ birthdays. However, after I told her how my made parents made me feel extra special on the actual date of my birthday each year, we agreed to somewhat celebrate each child’s birthday on the actual birthday morning with a larger celebration coming on the weekend.

So, as all three of our children were born in January, while we have a mini-celebration each birthday morning (please click on the link to read my post on celebrating birthdays - http://paulwreeves.blogspot.com/2009/04/happy-birthday-to-me.html), we have the larger family celebration on the following weekend for each child, with each birthday celebrated with music, a gift or two, photos, and, of course, a cake for each child!

While each child gets his/her big wake up call on the morning of their own birthday, they also get to feel special on the next weekend, as all eyes are on them for their special day!

And, as you have already calculated, this means that we are eating cake on three consecutive weekends! And, of course, cake is not complete without ice-cream. And, as you already know, since there is too much cake to eat in one day, there is cake for the whole week and with three children, we have cake (and ice-cream) in the house for three straight weeks in January each year!

Healthy? Not even close! Extra treadmill use in January? YES! Special for the kids? Absolutely!!

And that is why we continue to do it. Each child gets a birthday greeting and song on the birthday morning followed by a celebration, cake, and ice-cream to look forward to on the weekend.

So, while I prepare to eat my final piece of cake (or two or three!), please send along your ideas on celebrating birthdays in your home!

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Drug Use Increases (Pt.3)

(Continued from January 8, 2011) ...... One of my beliefs in the rise in drug taking, smoking, and drinking, is the fact that our children are not as carefully watched as they used to be in the good ol’ days. As children, all of us knew that one slightly less-than-favorable act in our neighborhood probably meant that a few telephone calls would be made to the parents’ house!

Additionally, our parents always made sure that they knew where we were, with whom we were spending time, 100% nixed any relationships that they believed would not be healthy for us.

As I wrote back on January 23, 2010 (http://paulwreeves.blogspot.com/2010/01/teen-drug-abuse-part-2.html), “Again, it goes back to peer pressure, kids feeling unloved, and drug use taking the place of good friends and actively involved parents. After all, no matter who lets the kids down, their old friend “marijuana” is always ready to comfort them. That, coupled with the fact that marijuana is readily accessible, provides a double-edged sword to drug use among teens!

Again, before it is too late, check out everything that your kids are doing, with whom they are doing it, and monitor their expected arrival times. It only takes one lapse in parental responsibility for a child to dive into the deep end of the drug use pool.

Publish Post

Are you scared or alarmed? Good, you need to be. Without question, after seeing literally hundreds of students and parents over the years in my office to discus this exact issue, drug use among our teens is at an all-time high, it’s getting worse, and our kids see no problem with it. Your time to be involved is now. Yes, they’ll think that you’re a pain in the neck, but at least they’ll be alive and healthy. Oh, and a good back rub can take care of that pain in the neck!”

Of course, the bottom line is this – our kids are drinking, taking hardcore drugs, and smoking marijuana at alarming rates! Yes, I know – we have to work harder than our parents did to protect our kids. We have to hide medicine, we have to hide alcohol, we have to keep checking on our kids to make sure that they are following the rules and expectations, and, yes, it can be quite tiring.

Keep a close eye on your kids, their Internet activity, their friends, their telephone calls, and especially their whereabouts when they are not in your home – you need to make sure that your child does not become one of the 20% of our kids who are smoking marijuana, drinking, or taking hardcore drugs. Also, be sure that you know what your kids are doing each day (and with whom!) between the time that school dismisses and the time that you get home.

Again, as I have said so often, nobody said that parenting would be easy. However, by watching your kids closely and putting safeguards in place, you can help to deter the negative behavior that has become so prevalent with our kids today. Remember, it only takes a few moments to smoke a marijuana cigarette, drink alcohol, or take hardcore drugs. 

Keep your eyes on your kids! Sure, they might not like it, their friends might mock you, perhaps even other parents might look at you with disdain, but the last laugh is with you and your kids when the day comes that you realize that your children have made it to adulthood without trying or experimenting with the evils or drugs or alcohol.

Also, please pass along any safeguards that you have put in place with your kids and I might use them in a future post. We’re all in this together!

Hang in there and keep up the great work with your kids!

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Drug Use Increases (Pt.2)

(Continued from January 1, 2011) ..... "These high rates of marijuana use during the teen and pre-teen years, when the brain continues to develop, places our young people at particular risk," said Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, in a statement. "Not only does marijuana affect learning, judgment, and motor skills, but research tells us that about one in six people who start using it as adolescents become addicted."

Well, now we go from behavioral and disciplinary issues to the added issue of the retardation of brain growth. According to the report, marijuana use affects learning, judgment, and motor skills when used in adolescence. Concerned, yet?

The perception that regular marijuana smoking is harmful decreased among 10th-graders from 59.5 percent to 57.2 percent and among 12th-graders from 52.4 percent to 46.8 percent in 2010.

"We should examine the extent to which the debate over medical marijuana and marijuana legalization for adults is affecting teens' perceptions of risk," Volkow said. "We must also find better ways to communicate to teens that marijuana use can harm their short-term performance as well as their long-term potential."

These last two paragraphs, of course, illustrate a large part of the problem – over half of our 10th grade kids do not believe that regular marijuana smoking is harmful.

The use of the drug Ecstasy also increased, according to the survey, with 2.4 percent of eighth-graders and 4.7 percent of 10th-graders saying they had used the drug in the past year. That's up from 1.3 percent and 3.7 percent, respectively.

Although abuse of the prescription drug Vicodin during the past four years decreased among high school seniors from 9.7 percent to 8 percent, the use of OxyContin, another prescription opiate, stayed about the same for 12th-graders at 5.1 percent.

How do our kids get their hands on Ecstasy and Vicodin? We would have been afraid to touch a candy cigarette and now a few kids are actually able to acquire hardcore drugs.

In a bit of good news, binge drinking continued to drop. Among high school seniors, 23.2 percent reported having had five or more drinks in a row during the past two weeks, down from 25.2 percent in 2009 and a drop from the peak of 31.5 percent in 1998.

Well, some good news – sort of. Yes, binge drinking has decreased, but we still have over 20% of our high school seniors engaging in the nefarious act. 

(Please come back next Saturday for the 3rd and final part)

Paul W. Reeves

Kids' Drug Use Increases (Pt.1)

Well, first of all, Happy New Year! I truly hope that you have a terrific, healthy, and fulfilling 2011.

Not to intentionally start off the new year with a negative story, but I recently read a newspaper article in which the author indicated that new research has shown that there is increased use of marijuana, hardcore drugs, and alcohol – not by adults, but by kids as young as 13-years-old!

Over the next 3 weeks, I will share the story with you, as well as my commentaries. The time to act to protect our children is now! Read on for some frightening thoughts on our kids today.

In a recent story by Rob Stein in the Washington Post, he reported that, “Marijuana use continues to increase among young people in the United States, according to an annual federally funded survey of drug, alcohol and cigarette use among U.S. youths.”

That one sentence should be enough to scare the daylights out of parents of little, medium, and big kids, as well as parents-to-be and grandparents. Read it again – “Marijuana use continues to increase among young people in the United States ……”

The remainder of Mr. Stein’s story appears below in bold print with my comments in regular print.

The proportion of eighth-graders who say they smoke marijuana daily increased from 1 percent to 1.2 percent between 2009 and 2010, while the rate among 10th-graders went from 2.8 percent to 3.3 percent, and among high school seniors from 5.1 percent to 6.1 percent, according to the Monitoring the Future Survey, which questioned 46,482 students from 396 public and private schools.

8^th graders are using marijuana and their use is increasing? Can you read that and not get worried or angry about the current state of our children in the country? Our children of middle school age are using marijuana at an increasing rate! When I was a child in the Dark Ages, a few kids (we called them burnouts or bad kids) smoked an occasional cigarette, but nobody experimented with marijuana at that age. Perhaps it was not available or perhaps they were scared out of their wits as to what their parents would do.

In either scenario, middle school kids did not use marijuana back then, but they use it now and the rate of use is on the rise!

Because cigarette smoking has been declining among high school seniors, marijuana is now more popular than cigarettes by some measures. In 2010, 21.4 percent of high school seniors had used marijuana in the past 30 days, while 19.2 percent had smoked cigarettes, according to the survey, which is conducted by the University of Michigan.

Think about those numbers for a moment. Over 1 in 5 high school students uses marijuana. If a teacher has 30 students in his/her class, 6 of those students use marijuana. If a high school has 500 students, over 100 of them use marijuana. Is there any question as to why behavior and discipline issues are on the rise in our schools in this country? Based upon the research, over 20% of our high school kids are high or suffering from the effects of marijuana.

(Please come back next Saturday for Part 2)


Paul W. Reeves

Merry Christmas!!

Finally, Christmas is here!! It’s time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and, in keeping with the American tradition, give tons of presents to your kids!

Have you ever considered the gift that your child wants the most? A bike? No. A guitar or drum set? No. A computer or software? No. How about an iPod? No.

Although I have never met a child who has refused to accept the aforementioned gifts, the gift that your child truly wants is ................... YOU!! Yes, despite their daily rants about the restrictions that you place upon them, the multitude of “unfair” accusations that are lobbed your way, and the total disdain with which they look at you sometimes, the most important gift to any child is YOU and your TIME!

Similar to my own story with my own son, a few years ago, a 6th grade student (11 years old) named Robert told me about the harrowing experience that he had encountered with his dad during the previous weekend. His dad was hanging Christmas lights from their gutters on their 2-story home. It was somewhat windy and his dad even mentioned that he was a little concerned climbing up and down the ladder. At one point, he told his son to hold the bottom of the ladder just in case the wind decided to wreak some havoc.

Quite quickly, Robert became worried and he began to visualize the worst - how would his life change if his dad bought the farm while trying to beautify their home for the season? Within moments, Robert implored his dad to forget the lights for the season or try on another day. His dad told him that he would be too busy on all of the future weekends before Christmas. So, it was now or never. Robert voted for never.

Despite the bikes, guitars, drums sets, iPods, etc., that Robert’s mom and dad had provided in the past or might provide in the future, at that very moment he learned that his most important gift was his parents. He realized that, most important of all, he liked having his mom and dad home early from work; he liked their help with homework; he liked knowing that his dad would battle the “bad guys” if they broke in during the night; and he realized that his mom and dad took care of all of his needs because they loved him.

Without his parents and the time that they spent with him, Robert, on that windy Sunday afternoon, suddenly realized that he would have nobody to take care of him. Needless to say, according to Robert, his gift "needs" changed on that day.

When I asked Robert about that incident a few years later, he reiterated that the windy Sunday had changed him forever, from being a greedy kid who wanted tons of presents to a kid who smiled each night before he went to sleep, complete with the knowledge that he had parents who were in the same house and that they loved him!

So, yes, despite their constant blathering about their parents and their foibles and other deficiencies, kids are happiest and most secure when they have parents who love them, spend time with them, provide for their needs, have fun with them, and provide the emotional security blanket that they so richly need.

Merry Christmas and give your child the most needed and most precious Christmas gift of all ...... YOU!


Paul W. Reeves