No More Squirt Guns! Pt.3

(Continued from June 5, 2010).... Take care of it? TAKE CARE OF IT?!?!? Well, can you imagine the amount of oil, gasoline, fire, and a few boxes of matches that the dad envisioned Robert throwing on the dispute? This fine 8-year-old, known for starting disputes, was going to end one? That was not his normal pattern of behavior (or so the parents told me!).

The dad asked Robert to repeat what he had just said. Robert said, “Don’t worry, dad. Just go back in your room and get dressed. I’ll take care of this”. With that, Robert continued down his path to the exploding bathroom. OH NO! Nothing about this sounded or looked good, as the loud arguing was still continuing between Kathy and Bill!

The dad told Robert to walk back to him. Robert, upon retreating to the dad, seemed to be holding his left arm (the arm away from the dad) in an awkward manner. The dad asked Robert what was wrong with his arm. Robert then revealed that he been carrying A FULLY LOADED RIFLE-STYLE SQUIRT GUN DOWN BY HIS SIDE, you know, the kind of toy that is JUST PERFECT for solving disputes as two people are fixing their hair before school!


Yes, ol’ Robert had planned to enter the bathroom, hose off his younger brother and older sister just moments before they had to leave the house for school and as they were fixing their hair, and CALM THEM DOWN?!?!?

Ah, yes, Robert must have concluded, a couple of gallons of gasoline should put out that fire! And, if it exploded into a larger fire? Well, 8-year-old Robert was counting on it for his enhanced morning entertainment!

While one can certainly give Robert credit for quickly designing a scheme that would produce his desired results in large quantities, one certainly had to question the overall wisdom of the plan. As you might have guessed, yes, his delay into the fray was caused by him having to go to the garage, get a squirt gun (the LARGE one, of course!), fill it with water, and scoot upstairs, all while trying to sneak past the parents! Ah yes, a carefully crafted plan that almost worked to perfection!

But, alas, the parents, who had previously purchased that squirt gun (and other squirt guns, as well) for use at the beach and in the backyard, quickly decided that perhaps their purchases were not the smartest transactions that they had ever made.

Before going to work, the dad confiscated Robert’s AK-47 (or at least it seemed like one!), as well as all of the squirt guns from the garage, and hid them in a place where no one could find them. In the future, they were only brought out for use at the beach and in the backyard upon mutual agreement by all parties. After each use, the dad locked them way.

Robert? Well, he eventually cooled off on his love of controversy involving other people and actually got along quite well with his older sister (in fact, he later came to rely on her for just about everything at school) and his younger brother (to this day, they continue to make music together and try to solve all of the world’s political issues!). As far as Kathy and Bill, they have never had another similar argument since that one exciting morning!

But, had Robert been successful with his method of “stopping” the dispute between Kathy and Bill with an early morning splash, it is possible that the resulting yelling matches would still be heard around the world today!

Yes, "NO MORE SQUIRT GUNS" quickly became the mantra and we, uh, I mean the parents, could not be happier!

So, how about you? Any near-disasters that turned out to be quite humorous? Let me know!


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.2

(Continued from May 29, 2010) ...... Now, again, Kathy and Bill always found quick and easy solutions to any grievances that might have occurred between them, with each attempting to please the other. Robert, of course, took pleasure in having his siblings air their grievances with him all over the house!

So, whatever occurred in front of that mirror on that beautiful school morning, Kathy and Bill exploded into a shouting match aimed at each other! Their parents, getting themselves ready for work in another room, stopped and looked at each other and just listened in shock, as "water and water" verbally and loudly lashed out at each other. One would have never thought that the day of Kathy and Bill arguing over anything, much less engaging in blood curdling screams on an otherwise normal and almost perfect school morning in the home, would ever occur!

The parents shook their heads and chuckled a bit, as the idea of their two kids (previously joined at the hip and only 5 and 11 years old) arguing like the world might end actually seemed a bit cute to them .... at first!

However, the arguing did not stop as soon as it should have for the parents’ pleasure. They jointly decided that it was time to investigate the dispute, have them shake hands or hug, and get over it, even though it was the first mutual dispute of their lives!

Just as the dad was leaving his room to walk down the hallway to the bathroom, Robert was briskly walking up the stairs, hurried past the dad, and announced that he was going to take care of the situation! Actually, the parents were a little surprised that Robert had taken this long to join in the fray. This seemed like the type of scenario for which Robert lived – disputes, arguments, somebody other than him ticked off …. Ah, the perfect scenario made for Robert!

(Please come back next Saturday for the 3rd and final part).


Paul W. Reeves

What Does 'Sissy' Want?

From the time of my oldest son's birth (he is the middle of three children) through about the time that he was two years old or so, he always copied his “sissy”. Whatever “sissy” did, he wanted to do, as well.

While some of this was cute and while all of it was done in a loving manner, it was also decided that he need to stop copying "sissy" and make his own way in the world. For example, as he always placed his restaurant order after “sissy” ordered hers, his meal order was always identical. In fact, when we asked him what he wanted to eat, he would always respond by saying, “What does sissy want?”

The first order of business was to get him to order his own meal and to be his own man! Before we left for the restaurant, I told him that he would be ordering first; he was to get whatever he wanted; and that “sissy” would place her order after he was done. I also coached him on being his own man, making his own decisions, and doing what he believed to be best for himself. After all, all people were different and, as such, there was no point in copying others just for the sake of copying.

After being seated at the restaurant, the waitress asked my son for his order. He proudly ordered spaghetti and salad with Italian dressing! Wow, quite an order for a 2-year-old to place and a gigantic leap for not copying “sissy”!!

Of course, after “sissy” placed her order for steak and a baked potato, my son considered changing his order. We told him absolutely not. He had ordered spaghetti and salad, because it was his favorite. Copying “sissy” would serve no purpose.

We quickly noticed a sense of empowerment and a sense of relief, as my son had now stepped out into the world and had made his first meal decision!!

The send of empowerment made sense. The sense of relief, I believe, came from the fact that he had entered a brave, new world and all was still O.K.!! He had learned that he could make his own decision with a stranger (the waitress) and everything would still be just fine.

From that day forward, he began to make his own decisions for his life’s direction. For example, when “sissy” chose to explore dancing, he chose to play guitar. When she chose to play clarinet, he chose to play the sax. When she chose dolls and makeup, he chose baseball and basketball.

Ah yes, an independent young man – completely prepared for the harsh realities of life! The independent decision-making, started when he was 2-years-old at a Bill Knapps’ Restaurant, has stayed with my son since that time.

However, while in high school, he decided that hew wanted to get a job to tuck away a few bucks and to earn some money for some of life’s simple pleasures. He wasn’t sure where to get his first job to work with/for people who did not love him or care for him, so ……… he asked “sissy” if she could get him a job at her place of work!


Yes, some habits, while put away neatly for several years, never quite die completely! “Sissy” came to the rescue and got him a job at her place of work.

As our two young adult children, formerly 2- and 5-years-old, walked out of the house on his first night of work, dressed in matching polo shirts and khaki pants, we couldn’t help but think back to when they were little and my son repeatedly said, “What does ‘sissy’ want?”

Yes, our oldest son has become quite independent and a young man who is capable of making his own decisions for his life. But, when a little trepidation sets in on an issue, such as getting his first job, it’s nice to know that he still turns to “sissy” and she triumphantly comes through!

Several years from now, I can just imagine this conversation:
Dad: “Well, my oldest son, to which nursing home are you sending me?”
Oldest Son: Well, what does sissy want?”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Parenting – gotta love it!

How about you? Does one of your siblings copy off of another one? Have you experienced good or poor results? Have you attempted to have the copier make his/her own decisions? Write back and let me know!


Paul W. Reeves