Dad and Child - Together!

Long before my children were born, I decided that I wanted their biggest influence to be ... ME – not their friends, the drug users, the drinkers, the kids who never tried to succeed in school, etc., but their greatest everyday influence was to be their favorite DAD!!

So, as a part of my journey toward becoming their biggest influence, I decided that, whenever I ventured out of the house to run an errand, I would ALWAYS take at least one child with me. In this manner, irrespective of what might be happening in the hustle and bustle of everyday life in the home, I could always escape with at least one child for a focused conversation, lesson on life, or just listening to the tales of their trials and tribulations.

One day I needed to travel to the local hardware store, about a 2 minute drive from our house. As I gathered up my oldest son (about 8-years-old at the time) to make the trip with me, I was looking forward to the isolated time together, the conversations that would ensue, and the possible lessons that my son would learn from me, including shopping for the necessary part and interacting with store employees.

However, as we were about to leave the driveway, I noticed that he looked a little concerned about something. When I asked him if all was O.K., he told me that he was fine. But, the look on his face told me otherwise.

I made a quick decision to bypass the local hardware store for the 2-minute drive and continued to the chain hardware store about 15 minutes away, thereby allowing me a total of 30 minutes of focused drive time to delve into my son’s obvious annoyance with some issue.

During the trip to the store, we talked about a variety of topics, including his upcoming baseball season, the Detroit Tigers, school, etc. He was quite chatty, but it still appeared as though something was bothering him. We arrived at the store, did our shopping for the needed part, and then got in the car for the ride home.

As we closed in on the 10-minute mark of the 15-minute drive home, my son suddenly asked me, “Dad, would you ever get drunk?” Well, somehow I managed to keep the car on the road as I told him that I would never allow myself to become inebriated. Of course, I then did the obvious. As this question came completely out of the dark with no lead-in or even an iota of purpose to me, I asked him why he would ask me such a question.

He then told me of his friend Mike (not his real name) in his 3rd grade class. Mike had told my son that his dad regularly gets drunk, beats up the mother and kids, and then leaves the family for a few days at a time. They never know if he is coming back!! Mike also told my son that ALL DADS do this, so he should be careful about me. To say the least, my son was conflicted, as he had been living in a loving home, yet his friends told him that ALL DADS do this!

Ah ha!! So I had my answer as to my son’s obvious concern about something. I then turned our drive home of less than 5 minutes into a few more errands that took over an hour, just so we could be alone to discuss this important topic. I assured my son that I would never be drunk, that I would never beat up our family, and that I would never disappear for days at a time. My reassurances did wonders for him, as his mood became brighter and he even suggested that we stop for ice-cream (a favorite activity in our family!). I also told my son that I would try and get help for Mike and his family (more about this in a future post – all is now well with Mike and his family!!).

Now - and here’s the big point - if I had just traipsed off to the local hardware store alone (which, by the way, would have been much easier and faster), I might have never heard about Mike’s story and my son’s concern that it could happen in our home. But, by consciously seizing every single possible moment to spend time with my kids, the situation allowed for the comfort zone in which my son could tell me of his concerns.

If I had not had those moments alone with my kids, it is possible that a stronger influence in his life (a friend, perhaps?) might have confirmed the story and confirmed that my son had better watch out for his dad!!

But, by being the strongest influence in my son's life, he knew where to go to find the truth ..... HIS DAD!!

How about you? Please pass along your suggestions as to how you have become, or plan to become, the strongest influence in your child’s life. After all, if you’re not the strongest influence in his/her life, somebody else will be!!

Hang in there and spend quality and quantity time with your kids!!


Paul W. Reeves

"I Dunno - I Fuhgot"

Our oldest two children had progressed rather nicely in the development of verbal, reasoning, and communication skills. Since our house was always in some state of communication, it seemed natural for them to develop those skills at an early age.

However, during the ages of 2 and 3 years old, our 3rd and youngest child seemed to not be developing the same skills at anywhere near the expected rate of our home or the expected rate of normal childhood development. Anytime that we asked him for an explanation on anything (such as, “Why are your toys in the middle of the floor?”, “Where is your blanket?, or “Why didn’t you tell us?”), we were always met with the following response, “I dunno, I fuhgot” (Translation: “I don’t know, I forgot”)

Well, to say the least, we were a little concerned about his seeming lack of development with his verbal and expressive skills. In our family, all of us spoke in clear and expository terms when discussing a multitude of issues. As such, he had plenty of exposure to the proper examples of communication. Yet, we continued to be hit with a barrage of “I dunno, I fuhgot”!!

We actually discussed the possibility of his sandbagging or scamming us on the issues, but, at the same time, we couldn’t believe that a 2/3-year-old could actually scam his parents on a regular basis. The look in his eyes seemed to indicate intelligence, but his lack of ability to verbally express his thoughts was of great concern.

So, was it really a case of “I dunno, I fuhgot” or were we dealing with a CHILDHOOD SCAMMER? We discussed this issue on a regular basis and we talked about the possibility of getting assistance with his oral language.

Near the end of his 3rd year of life, however, we received our answer to the “Dunno/Scammer” issue. I had a series of audio CD’s from various ministers, including Joyce Meyer, Ed Young, John Hagee, James Dobson, etc., all neatly arranged on shelves according to the presenter. One day, I noticed that the CD’s had become substantially discombobulated on the shelf, as the ministers’ CD’s were all mixed up! How could this happen? I asked my two older children and they indicated that they knew nothing of the mix up.

I then asked my youngest child, expecting the usual, “I dunno, I fuhgot” response. His actual response stopped me in my tracks – I then picked myself off of the floor, got a cold drink of water, retrieved a tape recorder, and asked him to answer the question again about the mix up of the CD’s.

His verbatim response is as follows: “Well, I noticed that Joyce Meyer, Ed Young, John Hagee, and Focus on the Family all had messages on the topic of “Love”, so I rearranged the CD’s to put all of the “Love” messages together. I then did the same for “Money” messages, “Jesus” messages, “Conflict messages”, “Healing” messages, “Delivering” messages, “Attitude” messages and so on and so forth. You see, dad, by arranging the CD’s in this manner, you can easily find all of the CD’s on “Love”, for example, instead of searching through each minister’s collection and then possibly even missing one. This way, they’re all together! This is my small way of helping the family. So, why don’t we listen to a Jesus message together right now? We have 7 to choose from. Which one is your favorite, dad?”

Well, alrighty then - the hours, weeks, months, even years of concern that our youngest child was not developing the necessary oral skills were all for naught, as we were dealing with a CHILDHOOD SCAMMER the whole time!!

I then told him that I was very proud of his rearranging of the CD’s and that I was proud of his explanation of the process. I told him that I had been expecting him to say, “I dunno, I fuhgot”. I laughed, but he looked a tad embarrassed, as he realized that the scam was over for the rest of his life!

I then told him that I had just received a new “Jesus” CD from Joyce Meyer. I asked him if he had filed the CD already. His answer: ………. You guessed it …… “I dunno, I fuhgot”!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Parenthood – gotta love it!!

But, to this day, several years later, if somebody in our family does not truly know the answer to a question, we respond with, yes, you guessed it again, "I dunno, I fuhgot"!!!!!


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.2

(Continued from May 29, 2010) ...... Now, again, Kathy and Bill always found quick and easy solutions to any grievances that might have occurred between them, with each attempting to please the other. Robert, of course, took pleasure in having his siblings air their grievances with him all over the house!

So, whatever occurred in front of that mirror on that beautiful school morning, Kathy and Bill exploded into a shouting match aimed at each other! Their parents, getting themselves ready for work in another room, stopped and looked at each other and just listened in shock, as "water and water" verbally and loudly lashed out at each other. One would have never thought that the day of Kathy and Bill arguing over anything, much less engaging in blood curdling screams on an otherwise normal and almost perfect school morning in the home, would ever occur!

The parents shook their heads and chuckled a bit, as the idea of their two kids (previously joined at the hip and only 5 and 11 years old) arguing like the world might end actually seemed a bit cute to them .... at first!

However, the arguing did not stop as soon as it should have for the parents’ pleasure. They jointly decided that it was time to investigate the dispute, have them shake hands or hug, and get over it, even though it was the first mutual dispute of their lives!

Just as the dad was leaving his room to walk down the hallway to the bathroom, Robert was briskly walking up the stairs, hurried past the dad, and announced that he was going to take care of the situation! Actually, the parents were a little surprised that Robert had taken this long to join in the fray. This seemed like the type of scenario for which Robert lived – disputes, arguments, somebody other than him ticked off …. Ah, the perfect scenario made for Robert!

(Please come back next Saturday for the 3rd and final part).


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.1

Sometimes families experience near horrendous incidents that, because they were averted, end up in laughter – not only for the moment, but also for several years thereafter!

Over the next three weeks, I want to share a story about three young, seemingly well-adjusted whippersnappers … oh, let’s call them Kathy (11), Robert (8), and Bill (5). Any resemblance to any children who might have lived in my house; currently live in my house; share DNA with me; or have any physical resemblance to me whatsoever, will be considered to be purely coincidental, irrespective of the actual and irrefutable facts of the case!

At any rate, during the early childhood years of the aforementioned whippersnappers, Kathy and Bill got along extremely well. To each other, the other could do no wrong. In fact, after a while, we, uh, I mean, their parents began to say that Kathy was a female version of Bill and Bill was a male version of Kathy. Despite the 6-year age difference, they bonded like they had been best friends for 50 years!

HOWEVER, Robert was on a slightly different mission in life. Apparently, he believed that his job was to engage Kathy and Bill in verbal disputes as often as possible, sending Kathy and/or Bill to their parents to lodge complaints. While Kathy and Bill went together like "water and water", Robert seemed to intentionally and gleefully provide the “oil” ingredient to each of them!

If we, uh, again, if their parents had a dollar for each time that Robert had sent Kathy or Bill over the deep end, they would be filthy rich today, with land holdings in over 70 countries and Swiss bank accounts in, well, I suppose that would be in Switzerland!

But, alas, the oil and water mixture did not pay off for any type of financial gain for the parents, but it certainly kept the parents hopping and sometimes entertained.


At any rate, on one glorious sunny school morning in April, as the whippersnappers were getting ready for school, Kathy and Bill decided to share a mirror to fix their hair. I, uh, I mean their dad, is not quite sure of the nature of the sequence of events that unfolded in front of the mirror, although it sounded (or so I am told!) like an “in my space” issue had developed between the two of them.

(Please come back next Saturday for Part 2)


Paul W. Reeves

Teen Drug Abuse - Part 3

(Continued from January 16 and 23, 2010) - ...... Many adolescents are still abusing prescription drugs and cough syrup, the report found. In fact, of the 10 drugs most often abused by 12th graders, seven were prescription or over-the-counter medications, according the report.

"We see a lot of problems with prescription painkiller abuse, and prescription stimulant abuse," Compton said.

For example, almost one in 10 high school seniors said they used the narcotic painkiller Vicodin in the past year, and one in 20 said they used another narcotic painkiller, OxyContin.

In addition, more than 5 percent of 10th and 12th graders who did not have ADHD said that they had used the stimulant Adderall to get high in the past year.

Teens said they got prescription drugs from doctors (19 percent) and from dealers (8 percent), but most (66 percent) said they got the drugs from friends or relatives. Among this latter group, 12 percent said they "took" them, 21 percent bought them and 33 percent said someone gave them the drugs.

In speaking with scores of students and parents, it has become clear that the medicine cabinet, used only for medicinal purposes years ago, is now one of the first stops for kids who are interested in experimenting with gateway drugs. From cold medication with codeine, to stimulants to keep people awake, as well as over-the-counter sleeping aids, our medicine cabinets have become the 2010 version of the candy store for kids. Quite simply, as I once heard Pastor Dr. Adrian Rogers say about medications in the home, “Get rid of that stuff or lock it up securely – and check on it often”.

In addition to the over-the-counter drug availability, kids have been known to take their parents’ medication for experimental purposes. On some occasions, although I was convinced that kids were high on illegal drugs, they later admitted that they had been high on their parents’ medication. The medication, if taken responsibly by an adult, would have helped the particular adult’s medical issues. However, that same medication taken by kids can produce disastrous effects. In addition, as their systems will later crave stronger and stronger drugs, the parents’ medication serves as a gateway drug to stronger and more dangerous drugs.

Clearly, medication in the home, for personal and family use, needs to be securely locked up and kept away from kids. Remember, we are trying to keep our kids from becoming addicted to drugs, a prevalent issue in our society. Your extra work to keep the medication locked up will help to deter any thoughts about entering the world of drug use and abuse.

Also, it is important to check on the medication often. Once it is securely locked up, we need to remember to ensure that it stays locked up and that nobody has attempted to tamper with the lock!

The report also examined adolescents' attitudes about alcohol use and found that it had softened. For example, fewer 10th graders said they considered weekend binge drinking as a problem, and more high school seniors said that having a drink or two a day was OK.

Our parents would have knocked us into yesterday if we had taken a sip of alcohol, yet more of today’s high school seniors believe that a drink or two a day is O.K.! WHAT?!?!? Yes, alcohol is more prevalent on television, radio, and magazine ads, but how did we get to the point where high school seniors believe that drinking is O.K.? While we can address that in a future post, for now it is of utmost important to keep alcohol out of the house or at least locked up securely – while checking often!

Similar with medicines, kids WILL experiment with drinking if alcohol is available. One of the major differences that I have seen is that one can always count pills to determine if one is missing, but how can you determine if a sip of alcohol is missing from a large bottle? Quite simply, we can’t monitor alcohol in a cabinet in a home. It needs to be locked up or not brought in at all, or many kids will experiment with the alcohol, especially as we remember that more high school seniors believe that a drink or two a day is O.K.

Yes, I know – we have to work harder than our parents did to protect our kids. We have to hide medicine, we have to hide alcohol, we have to keep checking on our kids to make sure that they are following the rules and expectations, and, yes, it can be quite tiring.

But, as we have the ultimate responsibility to protect our kids, I suppose that it’s time to get busy!!

As I have become fond of saying, nobody has said that parenting is easy. But, with a whole lot of work, attention, and love, we can be successful and the rewards at the end of the line are well worth it!


Paul W. Reeves

Christmas is Here!!

Finally, Christmas is here!! It’s time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and, in keeping with the American tradition, give tons of presents to your kids!

Have you ever considered the gift that your child wants the most? A bike? No. A guitar or drum set? No. A computer or software? No. How about an iPod? No.

Although I have never met a child who has refused to accept the aforementioned gifts, the gift that your child truly wants is ................... YOU!! Yes, despite their daily rants about the restrictions that you place upon them, the multitude of “unfair” accusations that are lobbed your way, and the total disdain with which they look at you sometimes, the most important gift to any child is YOU and your TIME!

Similar to my own story with my own son, a few years ago, a 6th grade student (11 years old) named Robert told me about the harrowing experience that he had encountered with his dad during the previous weekend. His dad was hanging Christmas lights from their gutters on their 2-story home. It was somewhat windy and his dad even mentioned that he was a little concerned climbing up and down the ladder. At one point, he told his son to hold the bottom of the ladder just in case the wind decided to wreak some havoc.

Quite quickly, Robert became worried and he began to visualize the worst - how would his life change if his dad bought the farm while trying to beautify their home for the season? Within moments, Robert implored his dad to forget the lights for the season or try on another day. His dad told him that he would be too busy on all of the future weekends before Christmas. So, it was now or never. Robert voted for never.

Despite the bikes, guitars, drums sets, iPods, etc., that Robert’s mom and dad had provided in the past or might provide in the future, at that very moment he learned that his most important gift was his parents. He realized that, most important of all, he liked having his mom and dad home early from work; he liked their help with homework; he liked knowing that his dad would battle the “bad guys” if they broke in during the night; and he realized that his mom and dad took care of all of his needs because they loved him.

Without his parents and the time that they spent with him, Robert, on that windy Sunday afternoon, suddenly realized that he would have nobody to take care of him. Needless to say, according to Robert, his gift "needs" changed on that day.

When I asked Robert about that incident a few years later, he reiterated that the windy Sunday had changed him forever, from being a greedy kid who wanted tons of presents to a kid who smiled each night before he went to sleep, complete with the knowledge that he had parents who were in the same house and that they loved him!

So, yes, despite their constant blathering about their parents and their foibles and other deficiencies, kids are happiest and most secure when they have parents who love them, spend time with them, provide for their needs, have fun with them, and provide the emotional security blanket that they so richly need.

Merry Christmas and give your child the most needed and most precious Christmas gift of all ...... YOU!


Paul W. Reeves

Games - A Happy Ending!

I am reminded of an 8th grade student, named Tony. One day before school in the gymnasium, a student reported to me that Tony had picked up a smaller child named Steve and body slammed him to the hard gym floor. As the Principal, I should have immediately high-tailed it to the gym. But, considering the source of the report (it was from a less-than-reputable student) and the difficult-to-believe nature of the story, I intensively questioned the student for a few more seconds.

When I decided that there might be some credence to his story, (although I still imagined that it was just a rumor), I quickly went to the gym, whereupon I saw Steve on the floor, holding his neck. After we attended to Steve (fortunately, he was not severely injured), I asked Tony what had happened.

To my disbelief, he indicated that he had picked up Steve and body-slammed him to the gym floor. He had been practicing that move for a few weeks after he had studied it on one of his video games. He also noticed that the victim on the game always got right back up and continued fighting. He wanted to see if it happened that way in real life, too! Well, Tony, in real life – people don’t get right back up and sometimes they don’t get back up at all after being body-slammed to the gym floor!

Tony was not a fool or a child with severe learning disabilities. He was an above-average student who, under ordinary circumstances, would have never tried that move in real life. However, due to video game addiction, Tony’s judgment became clouded enough that he actually began to believe that a child in real life might react in similar fashion to a video game person after becoming a victim of violence. Yes, Tony actually believed that Steve would just hop right up!

Unfortunately, Tony’s parents (separated pending an upcoming divorce) were nothing like Ben’s parents (I wrote about Ben and his parents in a previous post) who had quickly interceded on their son’s behalf. No, Tony’s parents scolded him for hurting another child and then they let him continue with his video game playing despite numerous pleas from me. To the surprise of nobody, Tony was later often suspended from high school and he became a dropout at age sixteen. Does this scenario sound familiar amongst your child's circle of friends? I hope not, but it occurs more often than you might think.

The happy ending is that we gathered a team of experts, Psychologist, Social Worker, and a Clinical Counselor, as well as some of Tony’s friends, his parents and I, and we performed an intervention. We confronted Tony about his violent behavior and his path to destruction and his journey to “loser-dom”. After nearly an hour of people telling Tony how much they cared about him, Tough-Guy Tony broke down and cried and admitted that he did not know how to deal with people, including his friends, without getting violent.

After about 6 months of intensive therapy, Tony and his Therapist concluded that his addiction to the violence on the video games had clouded his judgment and, yes, Tony had come to believe that there was no difference between the violence in video games and the violence in real life. Ouch!

Fast forwarding a few years, Tony went back to high school and graduated before venturing off to college to become a ..... yes, a Therapist! Today, he maintains a successful practice which is geared toward helping children with addictions, including the ever-growing actions to video games! Finally, a happy ending to a troubled youth!


Paul W. Reeves

Slurpees From 7-11

For more years than I care to confess, long before I had children, I often stopped at 7-11 on the way home from work on Friday afternoons for a delicious Coke Slurpee. Ah, the ice-cold taste of the Coke Slurpee was quite relaxing, as it took the edge off of a busy week.

Starting when my daughter was about 9 months old, one of my enjoyable daily tasks was to pick her up on the way home from work. Even when she was quite young, I continued the Friday tradition of the Slurpee run before I picked her up. The Slurpee would not be finished before I arrived at the babysitter’s house, so I still had more to enjoy after I put her in the car.

As you might have guessed, as she got older, she began to get quite curious about dad’s Slurpee every Friday. Eventually, she asked for a taste, and just like her dad, she loved it!

After it became age-appropriate, my stops on Friday afternoons led me to purchase TWO Slurpee drinks, my usual one and one for my favorite daughter. We would then spend the entire ride home enjoying our Friday afternoon treats.

This Friday Slurpee tradition continued for a few years, even after my first son was born. Of course, he eventually became ensnared in the Slurpee game and I was soon purchasing THREE Slurpee drinks after work on every Friday afternoon.

As you might have guessed, after my 2nd son was born, I was soon purchasing FOUR Slurpee drinks every Friday. Is there any better way to end the work week and start the weekend than to enjoy a Slurpee with your kids?

Eventually, as my kids entered school and I no longer picked them up from the babysitter’s house, I stopped arriving with FOUR Slurpees. However, after we were home for a few hours, we often hopped in the car and traveled to … you guessed it, 7-11 for another round of Slurpees!!

Although the Slurpee brigade eventually tailed off as my kids got older, to this day we will often stop at a 7-11 while we are on our way to other places, just so that we can relive the memories that my kids can remember since their very early days. Additionally, sometimes while on my way home, I will call home and ask anybody if they want a Slurpee. Of course, the answers are always affirmative!!

So, what is the lesson as my kids and I continue to enjoy Slurpees? I believe that the answer can be found under the topic of Family Tradition. Kids like to relive childhood memories that were positive, consistent, and brought about some level of bonding with their parents.

It’s the same reason that many adults take vacations at the same destinations that they frequented when they were children; it’s the same reason that many folks feel good when they put on music that their parents played in the house when they were tots; and it’s the same reason that adults like to revisit their old neighborhoods, even after their parents have moved out.

Yes, positive childhood memories, whether it’s friends, family love, the neighborhood, or even Slurpees with dad, are great to live over and over again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting a taste for a delicious Coke Slurpee!!

How about you? Do you have any memories or activities to share from when your kids were little - the types of memories that are fun to relive over and over again? Thank you!


Paul W. Reeves

Kids As Teachers

O.K., when did it actually happen? When did this first take place? Of course, I am talking about the exact moment that my children became the teachers and I became the student!

After all, since their birth, I have been one of their most involved teachers, as I taught them to ride bikes, listen to quality music, appreciate the right things in life, how to clean the garage, how to rake leaves (well, O.K., their skills have dwindled in those last two areas!!), how to eat and drink, how to get rid of the diapers forever, how to drive a car (starting with their toy “Barbie” and “Corvette” cars), and, well, just about everything else that comes to mind.

Yes, as one of their first teachers, I have spent several thousand days as their instructor! But, it was noted that it all recently changed.

For starters, my kids convinced me to get my own iPod, instead of borrowing theirs or getting a new CD player for the car. I had already decided that I would never succumb to purchasing such a highly developed technological device, irrespective of the convenience that it would bring to me! After all, my turntables and 8-Track players still work just fine!

But, shortly after this past Christmas, my kids finally convinced me that it was time for their dad to take the plunge. My daughter even arranged a deal in which it would only cost me $30.00 for a used iPod Classic! Even I had to admit that the deal was too good to pass up!

So, after laying out the cash for the iPod and armed with a bevy of jazz music, classical music, and pastoral sermons on CD’s (yes, I was kidding about the 8-Tracks!), I was all set to place all of them on my iPod. I could already picture the multitude of uses, including listening with extreme ease to anything while driving or running, instead of digging for a CD that had fallen under the driver’s seat! There was only one problem: I had no clue how to put the CD’s on my iPod!

So, my kids, anxious to become my teacher and appearing to enjoy the role way too much, sat down at the computer with me to take me through the steps. The first step, as they explained it, was to create my own Playlist, not so much to help me, but so that my music and sermons would not somehow land on their Playlists (apparently, that would be considered to be highly embarrassing to whippersnappers of today!).

After creating my very own Playlist, they told me to enter a CD in the disc drive. They calmly and methodically took me through the remainder of the steps, including exiting the “Download” screen and entering the “Music” screen, naming each track, listing the artist, the name of the album, and categorizing each CD. Although it took nearly 5 minutes to pour through the naming of each sermon CD, my kids assured me that they are now named forever.

Well, O.K., I can handle that! I told them that I would be fine for the next several hours, as I would not need any help from this point forward. After all, I was the dad and the “Master Teacher” in the family!!!

After my first CD was loaded, named, and transferred to my very own Playlist, they moved to other activities in house, leaving me alone to put several CD’s on my Playlist. Trying to remember the steps, I loaded the CD, named each track, named each artist, categorized each one, and then attempted to transfer them to my iPod. BIG PROBLEM! When I transferred the tracks to my iPod, they were not titled; they had no artists named; and they were not categorized. How could this happen?

Well, I did what any good and conscientious student would do – I called my teachers and asked them to help me! After I calmly and methodically explained the steps that had led to my predicament, all of them exploded into laughter!!!!! Through their laughter, they explained that I had to get out of the “Download” list and into the “Music” list before naming the tracks, artists, category, etc. THEN I could transfer everything into my own Playlist … an embarrassing “Ah-Ha” moment!

I reminded them that I had not laughed at them when they fell off of their bikes, spilled milk all over themselves, etc., so why did they laugh at me? Through their continued laughter, I thought that I heard words like, “You can tell that dad is over 30”, “Well, you always told us to follow instructions exactly as they were given and you did not follow your own advice”, and “Sorry dad, it’s just hilarious”!!

Oh sure, it’s hilarious all right! Apparently, it’s quite funny when the “Teacher” becomes the “Student” and, well, the student misses one important part of the lesson that he used to teach with gusto to his students!

But, it certainly cemented a reminder for all of us: Always listen to your teachers (as my kids have always listened to me - well, mostly!) and do exactly what they say! Leaving out a step in the process can lead to .... iPod frustration and laughter from your former and still-current students turned teachers!!!!!


Paul W. Reeves

BIG WORDS for Kids!!

Everybody says “Awwwwww” when they hear a child say such words as “mama” “dada”, “lookee”, “potty”, etc. Yes, while it is certainly cute to hear a little voice say those words, have you ever heard a little child speak with proper grammar, more adult-like English, and proper language inflections? When you hear a child speak like that, the “Awwwwww” becomes “WOW”!!!

Shortly before our first child was born, we decided that all of our upcoming kids would learn to speak properly from the beginning and that we would not allow “baby-like” and “cute” substitutes for words that they would have to discard later upon entering elementary school. After all, what is the point of teaching words that can never be used again after a few years? Why not teach the words that kids will actually use when they get older – all the way into adulthood?

So, when my daughter was born, we continually used “grown-up” language around her. We encouraged her to learn to speak properly when addressing others.

After she became quite conversant with everybody (she could hold complete conversations with adults without utilizing “baby-talk”), I decided that it was time to exponentially expand her vocabulary. Note to wives: This is one lesson as to why you should never leave your husbands alone with the kids!!!!!

At any rate, one day when my daughter and I were alone, I started using BIG WORDS to describe various aspects of life around the house. Of course, she asked me for the meaning of the words, we practiced them, and she began to properly use them in sentences.

One of the first words that we used was “Plethora” (Definition: An excessive amount or number; an abundance). I started talking about the plethora of newspapers in the rack, the plethora of leaves on the trees in the backyard, the plethora of ice cubes that were in the freezer, etc.

My daughter, never one to miss a chance to expand her vocabulary (she was a ham from the beginning!), started going around the house pointing out where a plethora of something either did or did not exist. For example, she said, “There is a plethora of ties in your closet, dad” or “There is not a plethora of trash in the garage”. Very early in the lesson on the word, she had clearly gained an understanding of the use of the word “Plethora”.

These types of informal conversations/lessons continued on an almost daily basis. Again, when speaking to adults, our 18-month-old sounded like she fit right in with her complete sentences, proper grammar, proper use of the language, and, yes, using BIG WORDS that somebody-who-shall-remain-nameless had taught to her!

One day, while attending an extended-family birthday party in the presence of nearly 20 adults, my daughter loudly and gleefully announced, “There is a plethora of birthday gifts on the table”.

Before that moment, I never believed that it was possible for an entire room of adult conversations to instantly come to a close; have all heads turn in one person’s direction; and then have a few folks say things such as, “WOW, did you hear that?”, “She just said, ‘There is a plethora of birthday gifts on the table’”, and “Where did she learn that word?”.

Then somebody, not quite believing what he had just heard, asked my daughter, “What does that word mean”. My daughter, the ham, proudly announced, “It means an overwhelming amount”. The silent room became even more silent!! My daughter beamed from ear-to-ear at her obviously impressive performance and, of course, it encouraged her to learn tons more BIG WORDS in the future.

Today, she and my two sons regularly engage in chatter that is filled with BIG WORDS, proper grammar, and proper use of the English language, as they converse with their friends, teachers, and family members.

Yes, teaching toddlers BIG WORDS might seem to be a little bit pompous. However, it instilled in my kids the notion that words do matter and, when they speak properly with some BIG WORDS, people listen more carefully and with greater attentiveness, as the more intelligent conversation level opens more doors with more people.

Now, can my kids still converse like kids? Oh, yes, they can! How about this for a sample, “Yeah, I know dude, that is really cool, I mean like, you know, it is awesome”. Yes, those types of sentences make dads cringe, but at least they’ve learned to fit in with their peers when they see it as a necessity!

So, yes, teach your kids the BIG WORDS, proper English, proper grammar, don’t accept anything less, and they’ll grow up to be smart, but they’ll still talk like a kid when the need arises!!

Have a remarkably stupendous, phenomenal, overwhelming, breathtaking, and colossal time with your kids!! And, oh yes, be sure to spend a plethora of time with them!!


Paul W. Reeves

Is The Light Green?

One of the great joys of my life was picking up my kids after work! No matter what happened during the day, good and bad, everything was quickly forgotten when I saw my kids’ faces!!

When my daughter was about 18 months old (our only child at that time), I would often play the following game with her: When I stopped at a red traffic light, I would tell her that I was going to grab a quick nap and that I wanted her to pay close attention to the red light and let me know when it turned green.

Of course, I wasn’t really sleeping. Rather, it was my way of teaching her about traffic lights and responsibility. After all, if she didn’t tell me when the light turned green, it’s possible that I would continue to “sleep” and not drive home!!

So, without fail, I would pretend to sleep, with my left eye partially opened to see the light, while she stared intensively at the red light waiting for it to turn green. And, also without fail, she quickly alerted me to the fact that the light had turned green. As a part of the slapstick routine, I quickly acted as though I had been instantly awakened from a very deep sleep! I always began to drive while profusely thanking her for all of her help, thereby reaffirming her alertness, sense of responsibility, and her ability to read the lights!

This little routine carried on for several months. One time, however, the light turned green and she did not tell me!!!! Well, since I was looking at the light with my partially opened left eye, I pretended to wake up at that exact moment and I said something to the effect that the light had turned green. With that little announcement, I began to drive home.

I asked her why she had not alerted me to the green light. She told me that she was just about to tell me that it had turned green, but that I had awakened before she had been able to do so. She had a confirming and knowing smirk on her face!! O.K., was she really about to tell me or was it a sign that she was on to the game? Hmmmmmm!!

The next day, after picking her up and making the drive home, we stopped at a red light. Almost upon cue, I told her that I was going to take a nap and that she needed to let me know when the light turned green. I partially kept my left eye opened to see the light and I partially kept my right eye opened to see her!! Guess what I saw???????? A cute little 23-month-old girl STARING AT ME – NOT THE LIGHT!!!!!!!

Yes, she had caught on to my little scam. Her dad had never been sleeping at the light – he had been tricking his favorite daughter the whole time!! Of course, to keep the scam alive as long as possible, I kept pretending to sleep each time over the next few months. Each time, I noted that she was staring at me and not the light. I would always have to instantly “awaken” when the light turned green and then continue driving!!! Before the age of 2-years-old, she had managed to take control of the scam!!

At some point, probably when she was about 30 months old, I finally asked her why she was always staring at me and not the light. She asked me how I knew that she was staring at me when I was sleeping!! Yikes!! I had to confess that I had never actually been sleeping at the red lights. Rather, I was just training her to watch for the lights and to learn how to help others.

She then confessed that she had known that all along. She further told me that it had not made any sense that her dad would engage in such a dangerous practice on the road. So, early on, she began to check me out and she discovered that I had not actually been sleeping. But, trying to be a dutiful daughter, she decided to continue the game as along as I was willing to play it!!

So, are your kids watching you? Oh yes, they are watching you all of the time!! Do your kids know when you’re scamming them? Oh yes, they do!!

Lesson learned? – Always be honest with your kids, behave in a responsible manner in which they can always be proud, and, oh yes, play the occasional scam game with them, as it will let them know that you’re capable of having fun while trying to teach them lessons that they will learn and keep forever!!

Also, the occasional fun scam game allows for great conversation in later years with your kids! And, yes, I just know that my daughter is going to play this same scam game with her kids someday!!!!!


Paul W. Reeves

Beware of UNDERWEAR??

During the teaching portion of my career, during the years before my daughter was born and while she was quite young, I had a practice of ironing my five dress shirts for the coming week on Sunday evenings while I listened to a local and live sports show on the radio. As it was a terrific way to pass a couple of hours (hey, I never claimed to be a speedster at ironing – just efficient!), I didn’t mind the Sunday evening routine.

One day, a student’s mother came to visit me on a variety of issues with regard to her son. She was late for the appointment. She explained that her lateness was due to the fact that she had to pick up her husbands shirts from the cleaners.

Prior to that meeting, I had never thought of taking my shirts to the cleaners. And, even after thinking about the 2-hour per week savings of my time, I couldn’t pull the trigger on the luxury – the thought of having other people perform a simple task for me for money seemed to be a colossal waste of money ….. but, the thought of saving the two hours each week also seemed inviting. What was my time worth?

I thought about this scenario many times over the next few years – especially on Sunday evenings! During this time, it was noted that other teachers often treated themselves to a gift upon entering the land of school administration – often it was a new car, a new boat, a fancy vacation, etc.

I decided that my gift to myself would be …. you guessed it, I would pay somebody else to iron my shirts when I someday left the teaching ranks to move into the Principal’s Office! But, for the next few years, I continued to iron my own shirts every Sunday night while listening to the local sports radio show.

And, then finally, the great move to the Principal’s Office arrived!! I kept my promise to myself and I gathered up all of my dress shirts, stuffed them into a large garbage bag, and then placed the bag near the door for transport to the cleaners during the next morning.

The next morning, the greatly anticipated moment was upon me!! Keeping my promise to myself, I placed the large garbage bag of shirts into my car and drove to the cleaners. With a great feeling of satisfaction – after all, I waited several years for this moment of gratification and I was actually becoming a Principal – I walked in to the cleaners and, with a touch of nervousness (I still felt a little guilty about this reward!), I told the approximately 50-year-old female clerk that I had several shirts for cleaning and ironing. She told me to empty the bag on the counter.

I quickly and eagerly dumped all of the contents on the counter ...... approximately 20 dress shirts and ..... ONE PAIR OF A LITTLE GIRL'S FLOWERED UNDERWEAR!!!!!! The clerk gave me a strange look, I mumbled something about the underwear belonging to my daughter, I nervously explained that I was unclear as to how it got there, and then I waited for 100 hours (it was probably only 1 minute, but it seemed like 100 hours!!!!) to get my receipts and quickly beeline it out of the store!!!

When I got home, still quite red-faced about the incident, I asked my 3-year-old daughter if she had placed a pair of her underwear in the large garbage bag by the door. She gleefully said “YES”. She seemed to be joyful and quite proud of her admission. The explanation? She knew that I was quite excited with my delayed reward and she thought that it would be a great idea to share the reward with her – so she placed a pair of her flowered and decidedly quite feminine underwear in her masculine father’s dress shirt bag, so that her underwear could also be washed and ironed just like her dad’s shirts!!!!!!

Yes, as my daughter could clearly see that her dad was jubilant over the fact that he would now have his shirts laundered, she wanted to share in the joy!!!!!

It’s a great feeling when a child wants to share the joy with a parent .. but, uh, check the contents of the large garbage bag BEFORE you leave the house!


Paul W. Reeves

Jennifer's Story (2)

(Continued from August 1, 2009) ........ As I continued to question Jennifer, I learned that her dad was frequently out of town on business and her mother, whom she loved very much, was often gone attending community functions. As a result, Jennifer was often alone in her house. Since she could not have friends over when her parents were gone and since she was not allowed to use the telephone during the same periods (after all, her dad might call in at any moment – fortunately, he did regularly check-in with the family!), she turned to other sources of pleasure.

Yes, she turned to the world of inhalants, particularly spray paint and hair spray. Again, her acting out in class was a call for attention, not only for direct and loving attention and interaction, but a call for help to deliver her from the inhalants.

We managed to get Jennifer away from the inhalants, her mother began to stay home more, and her dad got a new job that kept him home on most nights. Interestingly, Jennifer’s “hilarious” behavior became calmer. She was happier, but not as funny to the rest of the world. Yes, a less funny/non-inhalant Jennifer was better than her former self! And, oh yes, the teachers stopped worrying when their backs were turned to the blackboards!

I suppose that we lost a future stand-up comedian, but we gained an intelligent young lady who is now destined to be successful in her life!!

As I have often said, they are your kids. As such, please, please, PLEASE do not allow them to grow up alone without your direct and daily guidance and influence. Their "stimulants" should be YOU and not other sources, i.e., drugs, inhalants, alcohol, and other vices that will serve to bring about colossal damage.

Yes, life can be really busy and important, but nothing is more important than you children! Spend the necessary time with them and help to guide them into (and sometimes through) adulthood!

Hang in there and continue your great work with your kids!!


Paul W. Reeves

Jennifer's Story (1)

Jennifer was one of the funniest middle school kids that I had ever met. She had a quick wit with kids and adults. In fact, her sense of humor was more in line with adults than with other kids. For a brief period, I truly believed that she was going to grow up to be a stand-up comedian. She seemed to have all of the tools!

However, she also seemed to engage in somewhat daring behaviors that concerned all of her teachers and me. For laughs, Jennifer was the student who would sneak out of a teacher’s room to get a drink of water and then sneak back in without getting caught. Jennifer was also the student who would shoot a rubber band at the chalkboard, narrowly missing the teacher each time. She was also the student who let a mouse loose in the middle of a math exam. Jennifer regularly engaged in several of these daring behaviors, all of which seemed to be on the edge of danger!

None of her teachers ever suspected that Jennifer was the culprit. After all, she was so darned funny with a quick wit and fun-loving personality, that she was never considered to be a suspect in any shenanigans …….. until one day when I walked into her English class just in time to see her throw a marble at a teacher’s file cabinet while the teacher’s back was turned. The noise, of course, stunned the teacher. The other kids in the class, as I would later discover, were used to this “hilarious” behavior from Jennifer.

Although I was on my way to a meeting, I called Jennifer to the hallway. I began by chastising her for throwing the marble at the teacher’s file cabinet. I then continued to admonish her, as I told her that I had expected more from her. I told her that I could not believe that one of the best students in the school had just thrown a marble in the classroom and that, as her Principal, I was horrified that she could commit such a grievous act. Well, within seconds, Jennifer began to cry. At first I thought that she was crying because she, a perfect student in most eyes, had committed an act that would probably get her suspended from school. However, after she and I went to my office, she began to unload the true reasons for her crying.

Jennifer then shared all of her less-than-perfect acts over the past several months, including regularly throwing items in class, sneaking out of classes, and letting mice loose in classes! Jennifer told me that she was extremely unhappy, but she did not know why. This girl, who was the funniest kid in the school, who would made adults laugh and then repeat her hilarious stories in the teachers' lounge, who seemed to have more friends than any 10 kids put together, was miserable inside. Her acts were her subconscious way of screaming for help!

Come back next week for the conclusion. Thank you!


Paul W. Reeves

Alcohol=Brain Shrinkage

For years, we have believed that consumption of large amounts of alcohol could lead to various forms of brain altering. But, now, based upon a report from www.amenclinics.com, we have learned the following:

According to CNN, any amount of alcohol can decrease brain size!! People who drink alcohol – even the moderate amounts that help prevent heart disease – have a smaller brain volume than those who do not.

While a certain amount of brain shrinkage is normal with age, greater amounts in some parts of the brain have been linked to dementia. According to Carol Ann Paul, who conducted the study at the Boston University School of Public Health, “Decline in brain volume – estimated a 2 percent per decade – is a natural part of aging”. She had hoped to find that alcohol might protect against such brain shrinkage. “However, we did not find the protective effect,” said Paul. “In fact, any level of alcohol consumption resulted in a decline in brain volume.”

In the study, Paul and colleagues looked at 1839 healthy people with an average age of about 61. The patients underwent an MRI of the brain and reported how much the tippled. Overall, the more alcohol consumed, the smaller the brain volume, with abstainers having a higher brain volume than former drinkers, light drinkers 1-7 drinks per week), moderate drinkers (8-14 drinks per week), and heavy drinkers 14 or more drinks per week).

In women, even moderate drinkers had a smaller brain volume than abstainers or former drinkers. It’s not clear why even modest amounts of alcohol may shrink the brain, although alcohol is “known to dehydrate tissues, and constant dehydration can have negative effects on any sensitive tissue”, said Paul.

Said Dr. Petros Levounis, “We always knew that alcohol at higher dosages results in shrinking of the brain and cognitive deficit. What is new with this article is that it shows brain shrinking at lower doses of alcohol.”

So, as always, adults can make adult decisions based upon your lifestyle, needs, and desires. But, if you ever need another reminder as to why alcohol must be kept away from your kids, re-read this article again!

Be careful around the home and keep the alcohol away from the kids’ reach! After all, we want our kids’ brains to be large and strong when selecting our nursing homes someday!


Paul W. Reeves

TV - What Is Viewed?

Based upon the research that I discussed last week, I think that we can agree that parents need to monitor the TV programs that are being watched by our children. In order to protect our kids, answer the following questions:

WHY DO YOU HAVE CABLE/SATELLITE TV?
a) Is it because the commercial reception in your home is poor?

b) Is it because you are an avid sports fan and you just have to have ESPN and other such channels?

c) Are you a fan of old movies who enjoys watching AMC?

d) Do you feel that you need to watch the History Channel, or FOX News, CNN, MSNBC, etc.?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then continue on with your Cable/Satellite TV boxes at home. However, you need to remember that your cable box is also filled with MTV, VH-1, E!, BET, and other channels that regularly feature graphic SEX messages, images, and conversations. Based upon informal research, numerous conversations with parents, and practical thinking, my Cable/Satellite TV suggestions are as follows:

1) Get a box that allows you to control the channels that enter your home and then don’t allow any channel that regularly or even occasionally sends the SEX message into your home. These channels not only include MTV, VH-1, BET, E!, but also the pay channels, including HBO, Showtime, Playboy (hopefully, you had already thought to not have that last one in your home with children!), etc. Also, carefully monitor the shows on the other stations as well, as some of them often contain SEX talk and scenes on an intermittent basis.

I try to never allow my kids to watch a show alone or without my prior knowledge on its content. While this might seem to be a bit cumbersome, these are my kids and I will do anything to prevent them from getting the addictive SEX message. As I indicated before, once your kids get the addictive SEX message embedded into their brains, it can do significant damage to their lives, including, but not limited to problems with their family, homework, friends, and relationships with the opposite sex.

OR

2) Do not allow Cable/Satellite TV to come in to your home at all! After all, did you have Cable/Satellite TV when you were a kid? As you are the age of a middle school parent, I am sure that the answer is no (Cable TV didn’t get really big until the early to mid 1980’s). Did you feel deprived? Were you less of a person because you did not have Cable/Satellite TV? Of course, the answer to both questions is also “no”. Clearly, Cable/Satellite TV is not tied to the success of a person, professionally, personally, or parentally! Therefore, if you are unable to lock the SEX-related channels, or if you are unable to monitor your child’s TV viewing, GET RID OF THE CABLE/SATELLITE TV!! Your kids will be infinitely better off and they won’t suffer a from a deprivation malady later in life!

By getting rid of the Cable/Satellite TV in your home, you will be allowing your kids the freedom to get more exercise, spend more time with friends and developing relationships, and you will be taking a giant step toward preventing your children from developing SEX addiction that is permeating the youth of our society.

Yes, let's monitor what our kids watch on TV and keep them safe!


Paul W. Reeves

TV = Pregnancy? - OUCH!!

A significant portion of my interviews with kids and overhearing kids’ conversations with one another have involved television and movie viewing habits. In nearly 100% of the cases, the kids who had watched sexually explicit television shows and movies are the same kids who got involved with sexual activity during their adolescent years.

In an Associated Press article by Lindsey Tanner, recent research from the Rand Corporation indicates that, “Pregnancy rates are much higher among teens who watch a lot of TV with sexual dialogue and behavior than among those who have tamer viewing tastes”. As you might have guessed, “Sex in the City”, “Friends”, and “That 70’s Show”, staples among some adolescents, were some of the shows that were used in the research.

Further, according to the research, “Teens who watched the raciest shows were twice as likely to become pregnant over the next three years as those who watched few such programs”. Sure to illicit further chagrin from parents, the report also indicated that, “Shows that highlight only the positive aspects of sexual behavior without the risks can lead teens to have unprotected sex before they're ready to make responsible and informed decisions. Pregnancies were twice as common among those who said they watched such shows regularly, compared with teens who said they hardly ever saw them. There were more pregnancies among the oldest teens interviewed, but the rate of pregnancy remained consistent across all age groups among those who watched the racy programs”.

The lead researcher for the project, Behavioral Scientist Anita Chandra, said TV-watching was strongly connected with teen pregnancy even when other factors were considered, including grades, family structure and parents' education level.

Tanner reported that Bill Albert, chief program officer at the nonprofit National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, praised the study and said it "catches up with common sense. Media helps shape the social script for teenagers. Most parents know that. This is just good research to confirm that," Albert said.

Sadly, Tanner wrote that Psychologist David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the Family, cited data suggesting only about 19 percent of American teens say they can talk openly with a trusted adult about sex. “With many schools not offering sex education, that leaves the media to serve as a sex educator," he said. "For a kid who no one's talking to about sex, and then he watches sitcoms on TV where sex is presented as this is what the cool people do, the outcome is obvious," Walsh said. OUCH!!

So, what are your kids watching? What messages are they receiving? Do your kids have extended hours with a television and videos or Cable TV? I will address these issues next week. Stay tuned and … get your kids away from that television!!


Paul W. Reeves

Hide The Alcohol!!

It has been reported that our kids develop all types of beliefs about alcohol and, of course, many are correct, while others are distorted. Some of these beliefs are brought about by information provided by friends, some are formed by witnessing family members drink, and others are brought about by the media. After all, while watching a football game, there are multiple “cool” guys and gals who drink their way through commercials, appearing to have tons of fun along the way!

Unfortunately, few kids are equipped with all of the necessary facts about alcohol and its effects. As such, kids are likely to make decisions on faulty information. Faulty beliefs serve to make adolescent drinking more likely, as they typically exaggerate the positives and minimize the negatives. It is very important for you to provide your middle school or high school son or daughter with thorough and accurate information about alcohol.

Of course, being children of the 60’s and 70’s, we would like to believe that we already have the necessary facts and experience to teach our kids about alcohol (after all, who didn’t gain a tremendous education through seeing their high school acquaintances, or even themselves, engage in drinking?), but even adults have been known to carry some misguided notions on this topic. We must learn the facts about what a depressant is and how alcohol is metabolized, along with its immediate and long term effects. Helping your kids know the facts, as opposed to the myths, will enable them to make informed decisions about alcohol.

Below are some of the common misnomers with accompanying facts that adolescents have regarding alcohol. These are worth learning and then sharing with your child!

* "Alcohol improves my mood, alters my mental state." Though it is true that small amounts of alcohol reduce "self-focused attention", and that this effect, in turn, can reduce stress in some people, heavy drinking typically leads to unpredictable and uncontrollable emotions. If someone is very angry and drinks to relax, it is possible that the person might become even angrier --and all of the other undesirable behaviors which typically follow.

* "Alcohol makes me perform better." Though you may feel like you are performing better, as alcohol relaxes, heavy drinking has a detrimental effect on judgment, coordination and reaction time. Any amount of alcohol in your blood leads to impairment in driving. Alcohol, due to the relaxing effects and the direct lessened effects on self-monitoring, can lead to false confidence which can have deadly consequences if unchecked.

* "Alcohol feels great!" The short-term effects of alcohol are often remembered at the expense of long-term effects. The short-term effects are usually pleasurable - the long-term effects negative. It is helpful for adolescents to learn how to bring these potential negative effects to mind when deciding whether to drink or not. They include hangovers, interference with restorative sleep, foolish and or dangerous behavior, legal trouble, potentially deadly outcomes if driving occurs, impulsive sexual behavior, long term health problems.

* "Alcohol helps me socialize better." By way of its effects on reducing self-focused attention, many feel less uncomfortable around people when drinking. Unfortunately, this effect is brief and decreases if more than a small amount of alcohol is consumed. The social effects which then emerge vary from person to person, but include: obnoxiousness, aggressiveness, withdrawal, and impulsiveness.

* "If I drink coffee or eat something it will sober me up." Once alcohol is in your bloodstream, there is nothing you can eat or drink to hasten metabolism. Certain other chemicals, like caffeine, can "open your eyes," but you are just as impaired.

As my own father often said, “Read em’ and weep”. But, after reading through all of the myths that some kids carry with regard to alcohol, be sure to talk to your kids and share these myths, then share the facts, …… then hide the alcohol!

It has been my experience that many adolescents will experiment with alcohol when it is available and when their parents are not home or are sleeping. Again, educate your child and then remove the temptation! Hang in there!


Paul W. Reeves