Final Vacation? - Part 1

As sad as it is, we might have just taken our final 5-member family vacation forever! With our daughter scheduled to graduate next spring and possibly relocate elsewhere in our country, we might never again have the chance for just the 5 of us to be together on vacation.

Ah, yes, the family vacation! Load up the diaper bag with extra diapers, get some beach and pool toys, a couple of large coolers, a playpen, extra blankets, the car seat, swimsuits, extra clothes for each person, and be sure that the oil is changed before we head about 20 hours toward our favorite vacation destination!

Well, that was certainly the drill that we used when the kids were little! A van loaded with goodies and kids just waiting to get to vacation.

Yes, year after year, until our youngest child was about 5-years-old, we traveled to the same destination each year (sometimes twice per year!) and made a lifetime of memories, including purchasing a large picture from the wall of the hotel that looked exactly like our 3-year-old daughter at the beach. She’s 22 now, but we still have that large picture.

Other memories that were developed include heading to the same kiddie pool, the same grown up pool, the same spot on the beach, and the same restaurants, all serving to make our regular vacating destination seem like a home away from home once or twice a year.

There were many years in which we also had grandparents along to help with the kids and to enjoy the vacation time together. In short, that particular destination had become OUR destination for a lifetime of memories.

However, for a myriad of reasons, we changed vacation destinations to another locale when our youngest child was 6-years-old. The new destination eventually evolved into OUR destination, as well, as more lifetime memories were made. Of course, the newest memories involved older children, playing pool and shuffleboard late at night, no diapers, more swimming in the ocean without life jackets, card games at night, and jogging in the morning.

Yes, the new destination became just as important as the old destination to us for the memories that have lasted through the years.

Well, as our baby girl is getting set to leave the nest in less than a year, it looked as though we could squeeze out one more vacation for just the five of us. It is most likely that future vacations will include less than 5 (without our daughter) or a number greater than 5, as spouses and grandchildren will enter the fray at some point.

So, where should we head for our final 5-member vacation, the old destination built with memories of little tykes or the newest destination built with memories of adolescents, teenagers, and young adults?

As you might have guessed, for the sake of nostalgia, and in an effort for all of us to recapture our youth, we chose ...... the old destination!!

(Please come back next week for Part 2)


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.3

(Continued from June 5, 2010).... Take care of it? TAKE CARE OF IT?!?!? Well, can you imagine the amount of oil, gasoline, fire, and a few boxes of matches that the dad envisioned Robert throwing on the dispute? This fine 8-year-old, known for starting disputes, was going to end one? That was not his normal pattern of behavior (or so the parents told me!).

The dad asked Robert to repeat what he had just said. Robert said, “Don’t worry, dad. Just go back in your room and get dressed. I’ll take care of this”. With that, Robert continued down his path to the exploding bathroom. OH NO! Nothing about this sounded or looked good, as the loud arguing was still continuing between Kathy and Bill!

The dad told Robert to walk back to him. Robert, upon retreating to the dad, seemed to be holding his left arm (the arm away from the dad) in an awkward manner. The dad asked Robert what was wrong with his arm. Robert then revealed that he been carrying A FULLY LOADED RIFLE-STYLE SQUIRT GUN DOWN BY HIS SIDE, you know, the kind of toy that is JUST PERFECT for solving disputes as two people are fixing their hair before school!


Yes, ol’ Robert had planned to enter the bathroom, hose off his younger brother and older sister just moments before they had to leave the house for school and as they were fixing their hair, and CALM THEM DOWN?!?!?

Ah, yes, Robert must have concluded, a couple of gallons of gasoline should put out that fire! And, if it exploded into a larger fire? Well, 8-year-old Robert was counting on it for his enhanced morning entertainment!

While one can certainly give Robert credit for quickly designing a scheme that would produce his desired results in large quantities, one certainly had to question the overall wisdom of the plan. As you might have guessed, yes, his delay into the fray was caused by him having to go to the garage, get a squirt gun (the LARGE one, of course!), fill it with water, and scoot upstairs, all while trying to sneak past the parents! Ah yes, a carefully crafted plan that almost worked to perfection!

But, alas, the parents, who had previously purchased that squirt gun (and other squirt guns, as well) for use at the beach and in the backyard, quickly decided that perhaps their purchases were not the smartest transactions that they had ever made.

Before going to work, the dad confiscated Robert’s AK-47 (or at least it seemed like one!), as well as all of the squirt guns from the garage, and hid them in a place where no one could find them. In the future, they were only brought out for use at the beach and in the backyard upon mutual agreement by all parties. After each use, the dad locked them way.

Robert? Well, he eventually cooled off on his love of controversy involving other people and actually got along quite well with his older sister (in fact, he later came to rely on her for just about everything at school) and his younger brother (to this day, they continue to make music together and try to solve all of the world’s political issues!). As far as Kathy and Bill, they have never had another similar argument since that one exciting morning!

But, had Robert been successful with his method of “stopping” the dispute between Kathy and Bill with an early morning splash, it is possible that the resulting yelling matches would still be heard around the world today!

Yes, "NO MORE SQUIRT GUNS" quickly became the mantra and we, uh, I mean the parents, could not be happier!

So, how about you? Any near-disasters that turned out to be quite humorous? Let me know!


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.2

(Continued from May 29, 2010) ...... Now, again, Kathy and Bill always found quick and easy solutions to any grievances that might have occurred between them, with each attempting to please the other. Robert, of course, took pleasure in having his siblings air their grievances with him all over the house!

So, whatever occurred in front of that mirror on that beautiful school morning, Kathy and Bill exploded into a shouting match aimed at each other! Their parents, getting themselves ready for work in another room, stopped and looked at each other and just listened in shock, as "water and water" verbally and loudly lashed out at each other. One would have never thought that the day of Kathy and Bill arguing over anything, much less engaging in blood curdling screams on an otherwise normal and almost perfect school morning in the home, would ever occur!

The parents shook their heads and chuckled a bit, as the idea of their two kids (previously joined at the hip and only 5 and 11 years old) arguing like the world might end actually seemed a bit cute to them .... at first!

However, the arguing did not stop as soon as it should have for the parents’ pleasure. They jointly decided that it was time to investigate the dispute, have them shake hands or hug, and get over it, even though it was the first mutual dispute of their lives!

Just as the dad was leaving his room to walk down the hallway to the bathroom, Robert was briskly walking up the stairs, hurried past the dad, and announced that he was going to take care of the situation! Actually, the parents were a little surprised that Robert had taken this long to join in the fray. This seemed like the type of scenario for which Robert lived – disputes, arguments, somebody other than him ticked off …. Ah, the perfect scenario made for Robert!

(Please come back next Saturday for the 3rd and final part).


Paul W. Reeves

No More Squirt Guns! Pt.1

Sometimes families experience near horrendous incidents that, because they were averted, end up in laughter – not only for the moment, but also for several years thereafter!

Over the next three weeks, I want to share a story about three young, seemingly well-adjusted whippersnappers … oh, let’s call them Kathy (11), Robert (8), and Bill (5). Any resemblance to any children who might have lived in my house; currently live in my house; share DNA with me; or have any physical resemblance to me whatsoever, will be considered to be purely coincidental, irrespective of the actual and irrefutable facts of the case!

At any rate, during the early childhood years of the aforementioned whippersnappers, Kathy and Bill got along extremely well. To each other, the other could do no wrong. In fact, after a while, we, uh, I mean, their parents began to say that Kathy was a female version of Bill and Bill was a male version of Kathy. Despite the 6-year age difference, they bonded like they had been best friends for 50 years!

HOWEVER, Robert was on a slightly different mission in life. Apparently, he believed that his job was to engage Kathy and Bill in verbal disputes as often as possible, sending Kathy and/or Bill to their parents to lodge complaints. While Kathy and Bill went together like "water and water", Robert seemed to intentionally and gleefully provide the “oil” ingredient to each of them!

If we, uh, again, if their parents had a dollar for each time that Robert had sent Kathy or Bill over the deep end, they would be filthy rich today, with land holdings in over 70 countries and Swiss bank accounts in, well, I suppose that would be in Switzerland!

But, alas, the oil and water mixture did not pay off for any type of financial gain for the parents, but it certainly kept the parents hopping and sometimes entertained.


At any rate, on one glorious sunny school morning in April, as the whippersnappers were getting ready for school, Kathy and Bill decided to share a mirror to fix their hair. I, uh, I mean their dad, is not quite sure of the nature of the sequence of events that unfolded in front of the mirror, although it sounded (or so I am told!) like an “in my space” issue had developed between the two of them.

(Please come back next Saturday for Part 2)


Paul W. Reeves

Bee Stings are Funny? Pt.2

(Continued from May 15, 2010) ...... At some point, I circled back to the van, having escaped most of the bees. I had to time my entry back in to the van with the momentary absence of the bees, so that bees would not get in the van and sting my kids. With the noise of the radio and air conditioning, I assumed that my kids knew nothing about what their dad, the security rock of the family, had just endured, including several bee stings and being chased around the storage yard by the swarms of bees!

As soon as I hurriedly opened the van door to get back in, I reached for my Slurpee to numb the pain from the bee stings … ahhh, that felt good!

I then noticed that my kids were … LAUGHING!! Not the kind of mild chuckle or tee-he in which kids often engage. Oh no, all three of my kids were laughing so hard, that they could barely contain themselves. Their Slurpees were at risk of spilling, their guts were near the bursting level, and I was a little hurt that they were laughing at my predicament.

After they finally stopped laughing (it seemed like hours!), I asked them why they were laughing at the fact that their dad had been majorly stung by bees. Well, they said, they didn’t even know that I had been stung. Rather, their gut-busting laughing ensued because I was radically running around the storage yard and waving my arms at what they thought was thin air! They had assumed that I was just being funny to entertain them, an act which, admittedly, occurred on a regular basis every day at home!

Well, the pain began to subside, I managed to get the trailer hitched up, and off we went back home, whereupon they just couldn’t wait to tell mom of the hilarious hijinks of dad zigzagging all over the storage yard, while wildly flailing his arms at the thin air, then diving in to the van and grabbing his Slurpee to put on his arm.

Of course, they felt bad and they had compassion that I had actually been stung. But, many years later, whenever they retell the story, somehow the actual bee stings get minimized and dad’s seemingly zany antics get magnified and, well, the LAUGHING begins all over again!

So, how about you? Any funny or zany stories that have produced lifelong laughter that you would like to privately share with me? If so, please send them along!


Paul W. Reeves

Bee Stings are Funny? Pt.1

As my own kids were growing up, they looked to me for strength, stability, and confidence (they still do!). As is the case with all families, the more confidence that a parent exudes in everyday life, the more secure the children feel as they go to sleep at night.

As a result of that knowledge, I always tried to be the pinnacle of security and the rock of the family, so that they would feel secure.

Well, their secure feeling and the rock of the family scenario temporarily went belly-up all in one moment, but it wasn’t without a few laughs.

On the night before we were to head to a campground for a couple of weeks, my three kids (at the time their ages were 3, 6, and 9), traveled to the storage yard to retrieve our camper. As was too often the case during our travels, on the way to the yard, we stopped and availed ourselves of Slurpees from 7-11 (little did I know that this would come in handy later!).


After we got to the yard, I backed up the van to the trailer and hopped out of the van to hook up the trailer to the hitch, a routine in which I engaged numerous times. As it was starting to get dark, as my kids were enjoying their Slurpees, and as I did not want them near the hitch in case something fell, I told them to stay in the air-conditioned van while I took care of business, normally a 2-3 minute procedure.

I went through all of the necessary steps toward securing the trailer, but the trailer would not fit over the hitch on the van. I tried to force it down and I gently tried to engage the hitch, but nothing worked. It finally hit me that something must have been up inside of the ball on the hitch, thereby preventing a secure fit.

So, again, with it getting dark, I took my bare hand and reached up inside of the ball of the hitch, unable to see what awaited me. I stuck my bare hand up and in and ..... OUCH!!!!!! …… massive pain engulfed my hand and several hundred bees began to chase me around the storage yard (at least I discovered the hitch problem.)!!

While my kids were relaxing in the cool comfort of the van with their Slurpees, I began to run around the storage yard, batting away bees, dodging bees, and trying to prevent further stinging action, while hoping that they did not notice that their dad was somewhat injured and under attack!

(Please come back next Saturday for the Final part!)


Paul W. Reeves

Mother's Day - THANK YOU!!

Well, tomorrow is Mother’s Day, the day on which the second most telephone calls are made and the second most gifts are given in the year (Christmas is #1 every year)! So, what are 25 of the top one million things that a mother can do for her son (the son who will someday be a dad)? Well, here they are:

1) Make him feel loved, nurtured, and taken care of every single day

2) Be there when he is sick or upset and tend to his wounds

3) Make his favorite breakfast every day (with the understanding that his “favorite” will change on a routine basis)

4) Sacrifice her own needs and desires to make sure that her son’s needs and desires are met (without ever telling her son that she made sacrifices)

5) Having a complete homemade dinner ready every single night – other than the occasional pizza night

6) Ensuring that his clothes are clean for school every day

7) Completely washing, drying, and ironing his entire baseball uniform between games of a double header – in plenty of time to get him back to the field for the 2nd game

8) Shooting him a couple of extra bucks when he goes out on a date in high school even though the son never asked – she just knows

9) Somehow finding the funds – when funds are really tight – to purchase the professional drum set of his dreams – a drum set that he could then use to put himself through college, pay for gas and miscellaneous expenses, and even tuck away some cash for the future

10) Getting his drum set to the football field and unloading it by herself while her son practices with the high school band

11) Somehow finding the funds to send him to a jazz camp in Indiana, providing transportation to get him there, returning mid-week to deliver his own drums because he thought that he needed them, and then returning at week’s end to watch his concert, load the drums, and get him home

12) Making sure that he had a nice new suit for his first music gig

13) Never missing one of his endeavors, baseball, basketball, bowling, concerts, etc. - always there in the front row

14) Creating – from scratch – the perfect Santa Claus suit for his 2nd grade play

15) Being there to celebrate every single victory, both no-hitters, every hit and home run, every basket, every strike, and every musical note and still be willing to listen to him re-tell the stories of his endeavors on their way home and at home

16) When her son grows up – watching her grandchildren while her son and wife go away for the weekend – many times

17) Allowing him to get a dog when she really didn’t want one – and then also falling in love with the dog – and nurturing the dog in his final days after her son marries and moves away

18) Always telling her son that she has high aspirations for him in life and reassuring him that he will succeed as long as he works hard

19) Making him a full breakfast at 3:00 a.m. when her son gets home from a gig and is starving

20) Cooking complete dinners and delivering them to his home after he gets married, so that he and his wife will not have to cook late at night after returning home from work and night college classes

21) Always sensing when her son is under stress or duress and encouraging him to slow down and take a deep breath

22) Being supportive with her grandchildren – her son’s children – even when she might wish to give them a kick in the pants

23) Befriending her son’s wife through the years even though they did not always see eye-to-eye at the beginning stages of their relationship

24) Falling in love with her son’s new dog and becoming inseparable with the dog when they are together

25) When facing testing for her upcoming cancer surgery – telling her son to go to work and not worry .. she’ll take a cab to the hospital

O.K., with all of that unselfish motherly love bestowed upon a son, you might think that the young man might become spoiled!! Well, ..... I don’t know ..... do you think that I’m spoiled????

That’s right! Those 25 items describe my own mom, but they only scratch the surface!

To the best mother in the world – THANK YOU, MOM! If my kids someday consider me to be as great a parent as you – my life's mission will be completed. Thank you for the lessons on being a great parent!


Paul W. Reeves

My Son Has Surpassed Me!

Way back in the dark ages when I was a young whippersnapper, I spent an inordinate amount of time playing, practicing, and trying to perfect my artistry on percussion instruments, particularly the drum set. Of course, since this was in the days before videos, the Internet, and file sharing, I had to make due with recordings on vinyl!

Yes, every time that I got a few bucks in my pocket I would travel to the local store that had discounted jazz records and I would stock up. To this day, recordings of Buddy Rich, Louis Bellson, Butch Miles, Tony Williams, along with several more, align my shelves with records that have been substantially worn!

Through all of my diligence, attention to detail, and hours of practice, others believed that I had become reasonably decent on the drums. Attempting to imitate my drumming hero, Buddy Rich, while also fitting in with the group, I did my best to be the best drummer that I could be.

I always held first chair in the percussion section from middle school through high school; I was able to attain the same position in college for our trip to China; and I spent several years playing drums with some of the better musicians in the Detroit area. In fact, my drumming provided the necessary funds for all of my college expenses, including tuition.

Now, fast-forwarding several years, my youngest son showed an interest in drums at a very early age. Even before he reached a year old, he would sing tunes as they were written and then he would embellish the melody with jazzy nuances. He would also produce various percussion sounds with syncopated rhythms.

Throughout his childhood, my drum set was always set up and he would often hit the tubs to work out various rhythms with all four appendages. I often provided informal instruction to him to provide a more regimented routine and to ensure that only good habits developed.

At some point, it was time to join the school band and, of course, he chose to play percussion. He quickly excelled and rose to the top of the 5th grade! He even performed a solo in front of 500 people after being in band for only 2 months!

With his growing interest in percussion, I began to give him formal lessons. While the lessons propelled him even further, it was quite obvious to me that another teacher could provide a better level of instruction for him.

We managed to contact a gentleman who is considered to be one of the best percussionists in the entire region (this particular teacher was getting ready to graduate from college as I was entering the same college hundreds of years ago!). His lessons with this gentleman propelled him even further into the world of excellence with his drumming, to the point that was able to accomplish things on the drums at age 15 that I had not yet mastered at my advanced age!

Recently, he performed a drum set solo at the talent show at his high school. As I watched the tape of his performance, I could not believe my eyes and ears. Not only had my son surpassed my professional level of drumming, he had surpassed it by so much, that his favorite dad will never be able to catch up!

His rhythms are perfectly executed, his musical ideas (dynamics, phrasing, etc.) are top-notch, his speed is amazing, and even his level of hot-doggedness is as good as any (not that I was ever a hot dog, of course!).

So, at the ripe old age of 15 years old, how did my own son greatly surpass me in the world of drumming, a world that I used to own in our family? Practice, diligence, training, attention to detail, a natural knack for the tubs, constant hearing of songs and rhythms in the home since birth, and, well, who knows what else?

What I do know is this: My son has attained a level of professionalism that is not frequently seen at age 15. Am I bragging? Well, not on purpose. Am I proud of his accomplishments? ABSOLUTELY!!

As a final humbling note, my son actually credits ME with his drumming prowess. No son, I helped to get you there, but you are the one who made it happen. Keep up the great work in everything that you do!

As a final note #2, guess which drum set my son uses for his live performances? Yes, the Buddy Rich drum set that my parents gave to me when I was ...... 15 years old!


Paul W. Reeves